Why Love Is Better The 2nd Time Around

Love hurts, but you should try again anyway.

By Marni Battista — Written on Nov 23, 2012

Why Love Is Better The 2nd Time Around [EXPERT]

We could blame the entire Disney empire, specifically Cinderella and that Belle, who actually fell for the ugly guy. Or maybe it was Jerry Maguire when he told what's-her-face, "You complete me." Of course, there's Bella and Edward. And Jacob, the hunky boy-turned-wolf, who was "okay" that a woman he loved desperately chose someone else.

Or perhaps we can't blame "them" at all. Maybe the desire for a woman to find her knight in shining armor is a purely biological reaction, akin to a little girl's love of the color pink, rainbows and Shetland ponies.

As young women, we imagine that love happens like this: Boy meets girl. Girl loves boy. Boy sends girl flowers. Boy buys girl a big ring. Girl says "I do." Snap-snap, photos are taken; memories are made. Boy and girl live happily ever after.

But then we wake the hell up.

He doesn't make enough money or he works too much. He never helps. She never wants to have sex. And before you know it, boy and girl "grow apart" and that's that. The end.

What they don't tell you is that your fantasies get shot to hell and that women are somewhat shocked to know that when it comes to finding love a second time, there are no damn Edward- or Jerry-types trolling the Internet or hanging out at hotel bars.

What they don't tell you is that boys are not men — even though they have biceps and pay alimony. That, despite Mike and Carol Brady, blended families don't include an Alice. They never tell you that sometimes Cindy hates Mike, misses her dad and cries still during dinner. Or that Mike's trips to Toys "R" Us are useless in his best efforts to be like Dad. What they don't tell you is that sometimes the women never heal, become increasingly possessive or even grow "bitchy." And that's that. The end. Again. Continue reading ...