The 12 "Ifs" Every Gay Man Must Know About Life

As a Gay Life Coach for gay men, I help guys deal with the "ifs," "ands" and "buts" of life. They are opportunity (ifs), possibility (ands) and uncertainty (buts.) I've developed a list of "if" statements over the years to help make life—surprisingly—a little less "iffy." Here are 12 to get you started:

1. If you think of your body as a device for controlling energy - generating, storing and expending it - you can do truly amazing things with your physical self.

2. If you practice acceptance, responsibility and defenselessness, your life will unfold effortlessly.

3. If you replace your wishbone with your backbone, you will expand beyond measure. Dreaming is critical, but bravery and action are vital.

4. If you move through discomfort, your life will catapult forward. Trust that what's on the other side is better. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

5. If you don't make a choice, you're making a choice. Men who are unconscious making choices live at the effect of their lives. Men who are conscious live at the cause of their lives. Create your life by making choices.

6. If you listen to your intuition - when you know something without knowing how you know it - you will deepen your fulfillment. Practice listening for and to it.

7. If you are trying to become different or better, you're on the wrong track. Instead, focus on becoming more of who you already are.

8. If you give great gifts, you get great gifts. The best gifts to give are care, attention, affection, appreciation and love.

9. If you are seeking joy, love, laughter, peace, harmony and knowledge, then you are one in a million.

10. If you take full responsibility for what you are going to do next, you will live a life of true freedom.

11. If you witness your thinking, through journaling or meditation, acknowledge when it's off course and press reset, you can eliminate most mental ailments.

12. If winners surround you, you're more likely to be a winner yourself. Social contagion theory proves this to be true. If your friends are lazy, your propensity to be the same is infinitely higher. Be with people who make you your best.

If you follow these tenets, it's not "if" your life will improve, it's simply "when." Mark Strong is a Certified Professional Coach and the founder of The Gay Life Coach. He specializes in helping gay men explore, enhance and expand their lives. For more information on Mark or on how to become a client, visit or call 646.418.0291.