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Explore how to wake up your inner superhero.
By Lyssa deHart
Last updated on Feb 09, 2024
Do you remember being a kid and playing at being a superhero? You might have had a cape or not. You would run around solving problems, saving kittens, and using your magic lasso to catch the "bad guys." What happened? When did we lose the internal optimism that we could be strong enough to solve the problems of the world?
Life became more complicated than it was when we were five. Stepping into situations to save others comes at a cost. And, honestly, it’s probably not your job. But what about saving yourself? What about focusing that laser vision on yourself and being a hero in your life?
Your best qualities shine through when you empower yourself and strengthen your positive personality traits.
Here are the 9 personality traits of people who are superheroes:
1. Courage
2. Curiosity
3. Open Mindset
4. Healthy attitude
5. Full integrity
6. Runs toward responsibility
7. Acknowledges their superpower
8. Leaves their comfort zone
9. Considers consequences
Which of these positive personality traits and good qualities do you need to fit into your Super Outfit? Here's a hint: Most of your problems are self-induced. It's harsh but true. We spend much time circling the drain on things like, "Who created this mess? Who's responsible? They should take ownership!" And, for many people, that’s where they stop. Then others know, "I’m responsible for my happiness, regardless, end of the story, period." Yet, if we take no action, these are just so many words whispered in the dark that rarely see the light of day.
Here are ways to cultivate your superhero traits:
1. Take responsibility to cultivate your superhero traits.
Are you responsible for everything? Yes and no. You are not responsible for everything. You are only responsible for your response. It is that ability to assess if this is within your locus of control: "What I say, think, and do is wholly mine." And, the better you get at keeping focused on these elements of yourself, the more empowered you will become and the clearer your inner superhero will become.
2. You must want to feel empowered.
Empowerment comes down to choices. My Grandfather told me I had a choice in every situation that came my way. At the time, I disagreed. "If someone points a gun at me, I don’t have a choice if they pull the trigger!"
He responded, "Yet, you have a choice in how you respond." This example is extreme, so hopefully, I don’t have to put it to the test. Still, it illustrates how personal responsibility requires courage, and it’s also a choice. My Grandfather lived through two world wars and the Great Depression and moved out to make his way in the world at 12. The man had courage. This conversation was one of the most valuable lessons in my life. Thinking about my choices and my attitudes, these are the qualities I take into my experiences. Courage and a mindset of choosing an empowering story have tailored my superhero outfit.
Photo: Roman Samborskyi via Shutterstock
3. Don't use defensiveness as a strategy to avoid responsibility.
True responsibility means you are willing to look at the complicated, complex, and scary truth about yourself in any situation. It’s also about a willingness to make hard choices for yourself, the decisions that lead to a more integrity-based life. Somehow, we have gotten away from this simple truth.
You can look at something broken, obsess about why it broke, and obsess about who’s responsible. You can also choose to fix it and move on. Deflecting and blaming waste time. Time is precious. So, noticing when you blame versus choosing the empowering story is a great place to get curious. There is no shortcut to living a principle and values-based life.
Here are 7 steps to take if you're ready to wake up your inner superhero traits:
1. Pay attention to your choices, for there are many.
2. Recognize when you make decisions without actually being aware or thoughtful.
3. Develop at least five other possible choices.
4. Think through all the potential consequences so you won’t be surprised.
5. Wake up from the fantasy that someone else is responsible for whatever bothers you.
6. Develop some compelling solutions.
7. Take actions that make sense for you and the situation.
You can’t talk about others taking responsibility without looking at how you need to better yourself. It’s the only way to wake the sleeping hero within you. Part of the way we develop multiple options for ourselves is to become radically curious on our behalf.
Are you willing to take full responsibility for yourself?
Look at what needs to happen to solve the problem. This point is the foundation of coaching and my work. Each one of us plays a central role in the life story we create. You have to get out of the fairytale belief someone else will heroically come and save you. It’s way past time to put on your superhero costume and save yourself — this is one of the best truths I know. Being your superhero is an important super-secret of the universe. I challenge you to put on that form-fitting outfit and fly into your life!
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Lyssa deHart, LICSW, MCC, BCC is a Clinical Social Worker, life coach, and the author of StoryJacking: Change Your Inner Dialogue, Transform Your Life. She's spent the past 20+ years as a therapist and coach looking at the stories we tell ourselves and getting curious about the limiting narratives that keep people stuck.
This article was originally published at Lyssa deHart. Reprinted with permission from the author.