How To Find True Love After A Broken Heart Leaves You Feeling Hopeless
You've got this!
getty Any breakup can be devastating. If you've recently had a broken heart from a failed relationship, the mere suggestion of dating again might send you back into your pillow. You can't even think abut how to find true love — you're still figuring out how to get over your breakup and heal your broken heart.
You might have even sworn off men for good, especially after someone you believed to be your soulmate betrayed you. Maybe he cheated on you with your best friend or his "work wife", or he promised you that he'd settle down when really, he was never going to.
Maybe, your man did something totally outrageous that made you see him (finally) for who he is, and your eyes were opened wide — a defining, heart-crushing moment. Or, perhaps you two just drifted apart, and that can hurt plenty enough.
Whatever happened doesn't really matter because you're sad and defeated. Finding someone new is the last thing on your mind, and you have little hope that there are any good men left.
It is natural to feel a range of emotions like anger, frustration, bewilderment, and even a little despair. A breakup is a loss just like any other. You can't bury those feelings and there are no easy shortcuts in working through them
First, there are 2 things you need to know:
- You will find someone fantastic.
- You’re worth it.
Dating these days is actually easier than it's ever been. If you take a few steps forward with optimism, it won't be as difficult as you think — and it can help you learn how to get over your breakup, too.
Are you ready to find love again, possibly even your one true love? Then, dust yourself off and get out there!
Here are 6 pieces of relationship advice on how to get over a breakup and find true love after a broken heart leaves you feeling hopeless.
1. Take some time for yourself
Before you invest in a new relationship, you need to create a better relationship with yourself. So, date yourself. Carve out time to do things you enjoy, get grounded in nature, and explore mindfulness.
"Me time" might including taking some walks through a park or strolls on the boardwalk or sipping lattes in some fabulous coffee shops in your city. Take yourself to the movies and see all the films you like — no compromising.
Use this time to think about what you truly need and desire in a relationship and what you envision for your future. Journal your insights and create a vision board of your goals and dreams.
Most importantly, take this time to give yourself compassion, accept what is, and permission to enjoy each moment here and now.
2. Pursue your interests
If you neglected some of your hobbies while you were dating in the past, now is a chance to reconnect with what you enjoy doing. Take a class, sign up for yoga, join a meetup group, or try out for a local sports team.
Doing what you love will re-energize you and bring harmony into your life. Bonus: The odds are pretty good that you'll meet someone fantastic who enjoys some of the same things.
3. Let loose
If you've been cooped up in your apartment dwelling on the past, it's probably time to get your body moving and relieve some stress. What better way than to dance the night away?
Text some pals and make a night of it! You might not meet Mr. Right, but a little small talk, flirting, and a dance will get you warmed up for the dating scene.
If you're still not ready or nightclubs are not your thing, a trip to the gym or some kickboxing can get your frustrations out and raise your endorphins at the same time. You've got to feel good to feel good.
4. Talk to people (it's that simple)
There are probably a lot of friendly people in your city, and there is virtually no excuse not to meet new people every single day.
So, even if you're an introvert, stretch yourself a little bit each day with a few of these ideas:
- Smile and say "hi" to the handsome guy on the train in the morning.
- If you're a coffee lover, make small talk with the regulars you see in your Starbucks lineup.
- Thank someone for passing you the last eggplant at the supermarket and exchange ideas about how to cook one. You'll both be mouthwatering over thoughts of parmigiana!
Be open, curious, and authentic. You never know where a smile, a question, a laugh will go. It could even lead to finding true love!
5. Get online
There is a myriad of options out there; sites based on your age, religion, or sexual preference, and sites based on personality type and matching.
If you're skeptical if online dating can work for you, just about everyone nowadays knows someone who’s met someone online. Ask around!
The research also backs up the success of online dating. Couples who meet online report more satisfaction and are more likely to stay together, too!
One caveat: Don't jump on a less serious dating site (swiping left or right might be a clue) if you're emotionally bruised and still hoping to find your soulmate. You might have a little fun, but someone who is seriously looking for love and marriage is more likely to be on the pages of Match or eHarmony, according to Brides magazine.
The best approach is to figure out who you are and visualize what you want first, then thoughtfully write up a dating profile that reflects the real you and what you're looking for in a partner.
Take your time, don't let online dating take over your life, and just focus on making new connections. Stay true to your values, and you'll eventually meet your match.
6. Tell people you're ready to date
Just like you should tell people you’re looking for a new job, you should let your friends and loved ones you know that you're open to meeting someone new. Be crystal clear about what you're searching for and tap into your network. People have an instinct to help.
OK, so maybe you don't want to get set up by your parents, or even your best friend for that matter. But perhaps, just maybe, there is someone out there in the very same predicament, getting over a nasty breakup and looking for love just like you.
Most people don't know what to do after a breakup and how to start dating again when they've been heartbroken. But, trying these 6 steps allows you to be a little further past the hurt, moving toward a brighter future, and ready to open your heart to love again. Then, when you're not expecting it, a truer love will find its way to you.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified coach who works with women who want to create a relationship and a life they love, and her work has been featured in numerous online publications including YourTango, TheMindsJournal, POPSUGAR, MSN, and Prevention. Contact Lisa on her website for more information about her services, or sign up for her newsletter for even more insights.