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Honesty is the best policy.
By Lisa Lieberman-Wang — Written on Mar 05, 2019
Once you truly understand what it means to be honest, you can start using honesty to make your relationship better. You’ll have a greater appreciation for what you already know in your gut — that being honest is preferable to being dishonest.
After all, "honesty is the best policy" and honesty is what all the good stuff of being in a relationship is built upon.
So, what does honesty really mean?
According to Merriam Webster, the honesty definition is as follows: "Fairness and straightforwardness of conduct," or "Adherence to the facts."
But no one is honest all the time. We tell lies, including little "white lies", because we want to avoid conflict, punishment, or making the person we’re lying to unhappy.
And in general, we tend to lie fairly frequently. In fact, research done by Dr. Bella DePaulo showed that dating couples lie to each other about a third of the time, while married couples lie to each other in about 1 of every 10 interactions.
Yet, if you can increase the honesty and bring effective communication into your relationship, you will reap some pretty serious benefits. So, how does being honest help make your relationship and your life better?
Here are 16 reasons honest communication makes for healthy relationships.
1. You will feel more secure in your relationship.
2. You will feel that your relationship is a safe haven and buffer between you and the rest of the world.
3. You will feel confident enough to take the risks necessary to grow and achieve your goals.
4. You will know that you are on the same page.
5. You will feel more comfortable with each other.
6. You will have fewer, if any, serious and harmful breaches of trust.
7. You will know that you both choose to be together.
8. You will be more ready and willing to hear the truth which will allow you to truly know each other.
9. You will chat about things as they come up instead of letting things fester.
10. You will be more patient with each other.
11. You will feel free to be honest with your reactions.
12. You will no longer feel the need to be a mind reader because you trust your partner to tell you their truth.
13. You will feel less need to judge your mate.
14. You will be more able to lovingly give each other space when it’s needed.
15. You will feel less fearful about admitting to your partner when you’re wrong or make a mistake.
16. You will be able to turn to each other with your problems — big or small.
The benefits of having good communication skills in your relationship might seem too good to be true. That’s because you’ve not put forth the effort to speak your truth consistently before.
You’ve fallen into the habit of lying and deception, at least occasionally, because you want to avoid conflict, punishment, or making your partner unhappy.
The benefits are achievable, though. And as with any work towards a healthy relationship, these benefits will take you some effort to achieve.
It can be really tough to share your thoughts and feelings with complete honesty, especially with your partner whom you want to make happy.
But, telling the truth isn't just a behavior, it’s a complete way of living and being in your relationship. And, the importance of communication with your partner, can't be emphasized enough.
Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert and creator of the neuroscience Neuro Associative Programming (NAP). If you need help finding your truth and living an authentic life, reach out to her or send her an e-mail.
This article was originally published at FinetoFab. Reprinted with permission from the author.