5 Things You Need To Personally Work On If You Want To Be Happy In Your Relationship

You need to work on yourself first in order to have a healthy relationship.

Last updated on Nov 04, 2023

Woman loving herself Sincerely Media | Nicole Honeywill's Images / erikreis | SolStock | Getty Images

By Unwritten

Relationship advice is all around us.

We’re told how to make our partners happy, and how to make our relationships last longer… but no one actually says that in order to have a long-lasting relationship, you need to believe in yourself and have confidence.

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The reason for that is simple: if you’re confident, you’ll be less prone to probing and checking on your partner.

This, in turn, will make you feel more secure and happy.

Working on self-confidence can take some time. But in the meantime, here are some ways to feel great about yourself and be happy in your relationship.

Here are 5 things you need to personally work on to be happy in your relationship:

1. Not being clingy

Let’s make this clear: nobody likes clingy and needy people. Sitting all day and waiting for your partner to call or text you can lead to relationship suicide.

If you want you two to flourish together, you need to give your partner their space, even if you’re dying to see them. Yes, you might want to see your partner as much as possible, but always be sure to consider their feelings and preferences as well.


Don’t drive them to push you away.

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2. Learning to compromise

You might have heard somewhere that compromising means you’re weak. But when it comes to relationships, that’s entirely untrue.

In order to create a long-lasting bond, you need to learn to compromise. There’s just no chance that you can always have it your way.

It’s important to consider the other person so they’ll feel appreciated, respected, and valued. The next time you have a disagreement, remind yourself that your goal isn’t to “win,” it’s to find a resolution together.

3. Performing small acts of kindness

Sometimes, words aren’t enough to show love and appreciation, so small acts of kindness can help you communicate your feelings. It’s necessary to let your partner know that you care about them, so surprising them with their favorite candy or concert tickets can be more meaningful than a thousand “I love you’s”.


Consider getting elegant matching couples bracelets (as long as your partner is comfortable with them).

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4. Appreciating their interests (but not apologizing for yours)

Sometimes people will give up their interests and hobbies, and instead start emulating their partners. That may be cute at first, but you shouldn’t lose yourself in any relationship.

It’s great if you want to share your partner’s hobbies and activities, but you shouldn’t completely abandon yours.

If you love sports, and your partner finds them boring, make sure to still spend some time by yourself or your friends enjoying basketball or tennis. You don’t need to include your partner in everything you do.


There’s nothing more attractive than a person who unapologetically embraces their own interests without the fear of judgment.

5. Not idealizing your partner

Many people idealize their boyfriends and girlfriends without seeing their flaws. Nobody is perfect, including them and you.

Instead, talk about what bothers you and if you can’t fix their issues, learn to manage them in a way that won’t cause you any grief. Your partner is a human, so accept and respect their flaws, just as they should yours.

You don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to have self-confidence.


However, every healthy relationship requires you to have self-esteem and appreciate yourself.

Even if you aren’t the most naturally confident in the bunch, no problem!

Follow these tips and you’ll be on your way.

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Unwritten is a website dedicated to millennial, lifestyle, and relationship content.