Layna and her girlfriends had a habit that was slowly destroying her marriage.
By Lisa Hayes — Written on Jul 12, 2010
Layna and her girlfriends had a habit that was slowly destroying her marriage. It had nothing to do with partying or staying out late. Neither did it have to do with time away, money spent or bad behavior of the typical kind. However, this habit was as damaging to her marriage as a slow, growing antibiotic resistant bacteria that was making her marriage sicker and sicker. It took root when she was on the phone with her friends, and then got a strong hold over coffee, and completely took over girl friend shopping trips. Even worse, it was contagious and some of her friends caught it and it began to have serious adverse effects on their marriages also. What was this mystery ailment operating and spreading behind the scenes with Layna and her friends? Husband bashing.
When Layna had the ear of a friend, she would inevitably drift the conversation in the direction of her husband, Josh, and how lazy he was around the house. She cursed the day they bought the Xbox because now all he wanted to do was play that thing. What he didn't want to do was yard work and especially not housework. Not to mention he hardly talked to her anymore. Layna was fit to be tied, and as she talked to her friends about this issue, she found out she wasn't alone. There was a lot of good company in the husband dis-satisfaction club. A lot of the girls were feeling frustrated, over-worked, and unappreciated. As the conversation gained steam over the weeks and months, the club seemed to grow.
At first, Layna was comforted by the fact that she wasn't alone. It wasn't exactly like "misery loves company," but in her heart, the camaraderie of the complaining was nice. She sort of thought they were providing a nice service to each other. Complain to each other, spare your man the nagging. That said, she also knew none of the men were being spared any nagging. In her case at least, the more she complained to the girls, the more fire she had to take it to Josh.
Law of attraction simply says you get more of what you put your attention on. Layna and ladies played this law out to their detriment and, before they knew it, they had way more of what they didn't like in their husbands on their hands then they knew what to do with. After several months of this behavior Layna realized, with some help from her mother, the error of her ways. Old habits die hard, but Layna has sworn off the griping behind his back and, even though she was a charter member, has left the club of husband bashers.
Fast forward six weeks and the Xbox is broken, the yard is mowed, and Josh is building a tool/potting shed. She says they have a place to work outside together. Coincidence? You decide for yourself. I think not. Layna agrees with me. Moral of the story, words are powerful creators in and of themselves. Be careful what words you speak about the people you have to live with.
Lisa Hayes C.Ht. is the Love Whisperer. She is a Law of Attraction Relationship Coach and author of The Passion Plan and Escape from Relationship Hell. She specializes in helping people get the love they want, no matter where they are in their lives. You can find her at her digit home, www.lisamhayes.com. Get her free audio, How to Talk to a Man, HERE.