4 Reasons Loving A Guy With ADHD Is Tough (But SO Worth It)

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adult adhd

There are a lot of different things that cause problems for couples. Some of these things are family issues, work issues, stress, or depression. But sometimes the things your partner does is caused by something else though that isn't so obvious: ADHD/ADD

ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and nearly 5% of U.S. adults have it. Most of us think of ADD/ADHD as a focus problem kids have in school — and it CAN be that, for sure — but ADD/ADHD in adults looks a little different than it does in kids. And it can be just as hard on relationships as it is on the person who has it.

Below are 4 common issues that can happen in relationships where one or both partners has Adult ADD/ADHD:

1. You're both late to meetings and appointments.

Since his mind churns out a large number of thoughts simultaneously, he might not appreciate the pressing urgency of getting somewhere on time in the same way you do. He may get distracted with things you don't think are important at that very moment.

2. Your finances are unstable and unpredictable.

This is because some individuals with ADHD find it hard to hold a steady job or constantly re-focus their energies towards other pursuits. Since an ADHD partner might become quickly bored with the same job, he might look to other jobs fairly regularly. This can sometimes lead to financial instability.

3. You may feel like you're not his top priority.

It's often difficult for an adult with ADHD to prioritize things in life. Since in his mind anything might be important at any given time — even things you think are silly — you might feel like you're not all that important to him.

Understand this: ADHD individuals are PERFECTLY capable of deeply loving someone (just like anyone else!), so he can be completely in love with you and still come across as prioritizing other things. The important thing is to learn the best method to resolve situations like these. 

4. You can be hurt by broken promises.

If he has ADHD, he might make promises to you that he can't keep — for a number of reasons. First, he may quickly forget what he told you and what you told him. Second, keeping a promise often requires a good deal of focus, and though he may deeply want to keep his promise to you, his ADD/ADHD may hinder that.

Learn more about ADHD/ADD by listening to these individuals sit down with Katie Couric and Dr. Edward Hallowell and discuss what it's REALLY like to live with ADHD: 

If you don't want to be disappointed or deeply hurt in your relationship with an ADHD partner, it's vital that you understand exactly how your partner's neurobiology can affect your relationship.

If your partner DOES have ADHD, it's certainly not the end of the world (or your relationship). There are always steps you can both take to ensure your relationship is happy and healthy.   

If you think ADD/ADHD may be negatively affecting you or your relationships, take this thorough clinical assessment.  It will not only indicate whether or not ADD/ADHD may be present, it will also measure how much your life is being impacted by it.