3 Selfless Ways To Empower Yourself While Dealing With Heartbreak

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ways to empower yourself

Divorce is often a depressing, dark, and loveless time for just about everyone going through it. The loss of a dream can create a deep sadness that is difficult to dig yourself out of. The failure of a marriage can bring about shame and cause you to isolate yourself out of fear of being judged.

Change is inevitable as is the pain that accompanies unintended change, but suffering is 100 percent optional. Healing from divorce is possible, but only if you learn the ways to empower yourself. Only then can you overcome your pain.

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1. Allow yourself to feel emotion.

Sadness is simply a feeling. It's an energy that you should let yourself feel. Feel it fully! It will serve you, but it won't serve you if you let it consume you. Consciously choose to smile.

One thing you can do to bring about an energy shift is to notice the posture you're in when you're feeling sad and move your body into a more empowered position. Sadness lives in a curled up fetal position and it will have its way with you turning your sadness into depression if you let it.

Next time you're feeling sad (and probably victimized by your circumstances), move your body into the position of empowerment and notice how you feel like a winner. Stand up tall, put your arms in the air reaching for the sky, and declare at the top of your lungs, "I'm depressed!"

Notice that it's impossible to "feel" depressed when your body is in an empowered position, and how you are more likely to smile when you're in this position declaring something that is so ridiculous to state from this empowered body positioning.

2. Choose how you respond to each situation.

If you're like most people, you don't want to put yourself out there very much after going through a divorce. Your fears might be running the show, insisting how you're going to be financially ruined, or that your kids lives are ruined, or that you will never find love again. That's BS! 

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Your circumstances will change, and with it, you will face new challenges. Some will be overwhelming, but you're going to be okay.

You might not see a happy life beyond your current situation, but you can take charge of your experience by choosing how you will respond to what's happening. You can cultivate joy and here's one way: give your faith equal time. Yup, it's that easy.

The more victimized you feel by your divorce, the more you will put faith in your fears that things won't work out for you. You must cultivate your faith by giving it equal time.

Cultivating joy is like building a muscle: You might not know it's even there underneath all of your sadness, and it may take a while to start to feel different. Don't give up! Continue this practice until you notice yourself feeling joyful more often than sad. Then do it some more.

3. Be kind to yourself.

Going through a divorce is the time when you need to give yourself what you think you need to get from someone else. This is the time to be really good to yourself and learn the ways to empower yourself. Be gentle and kind.

If you fill yourself up with your own love and appreciation, then you will move into a place of gratitude much more easily. You have a new life to create for yourself. And you can create it from several perspectives, each one giving you a distinct experience of your future.

Imagine what kind of life you will create if it's from a self-deprecating place? Or from an angry, resentful, and blaming place? Or from a place of self-love and nurturing? It's often necessary to work through negative emotions, especially if your confidence and self-esteem are shaken.

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