How To Write A Dating Profile That Attracts The Kind Of Woman You Wa


I have an embarrassing confession. I scanned literally thousands of dating profiles over the past 4 years (until I met my husband!). I noticed the many subtle changes to men’s dating profiles when they’re ready to give versus take in a relationship. Profiles change from indifferent, cocky or hesitant to authentic, open and interesting. As a result women feel curious versus bored. 

Why do men change their profiles? Simple: the women they want aren’t lonely or bored- much less chasing them. She is happy, caring, healthy, playful, sexy, fun, accepting, connecting and inspiring. She is loving and kind while gracefully saying no when needed.  She is full of passion so prefers to enjoy life single rather than hook up with players or waste much time chatting online. These women appreciate thoughtfulness, effort and humor; therefore, will respect you for your efforts. These women get you in a way no woman before did because they give (and expect) empathy and friendship. These women may or may not be in your bed but tend to hijack your thoughts. They inspire you to be your best, and give your best- even after your own mother gave up!   

Discerning women quickly eliminate wrong men because we value our time. A man who is just dating takes while a man dating for a relationship gives. Your time and effort earns ours- beginning with your profile and the first introductory message you send her. Create it so she may feel an authentic connection when she reads your profile. Here’s how:

1. Your pictures tell a story- what do you want us to know and accept about you?

Do: represent the multiple facets of your hobbies and personality in pictures. Athlete’s- have an action shot showing your love of the game.  Artists- describe your creations and what it represents to you. Geeks- show yourself at the Renaissance Festival or DND convention. Sports fanatics- attend your favorite team’s game with friends or family. Parents- show yourself living life attending kid events. Adventurers- describe and show off favorite spots around the world you visited. Loners- describe your favorite solitude spots without saying a word with peaceful photos enjoying nature. 

Don’t: Put up bathroom selfies, unflattering selfies at all, pictures that include beds, or messy backgrounds. All this demonstrates is you’re lazy and messy. Unless she is also lazy and messy she will eliminate you. 

2. Be masculine, not feminine: 

Do: Initiate a tasteful first message introduction and/or remark regarding something you read in her profile.  Ask for her phone number only after you’ve connected chatting and you’ve given yours first. Call when you say you will call or apologize and reschedule. Understand if she is responding to you it means she hasn’t eliminated you- yet. Let her set the pace. If she says ‘I don’t know’, ‘maybe’ or ‘perhaps’ slow down as you’re probably moving too fast or putting your desires before hers. Expect manners and responses to texts and calls within a reasonable amount of time.  

Don’t: Be passive or aggressive.  Only give compliments on pictures. Wait for her to respond to your wink before sending a message. Let her take the lead or lead without inquiring about her preferences. Ask her to pay or do anything for you. 

3. Describe what you do and why you enjoy it:

Do: Explain what you love about your job or hobbies. It’s exciting to hear a man share his passion! Share dreams, plans and goals- and find out what hers are as curiosity is sexy.  

Don’t: Complain about your job or career- especially if you’ve not decided to leave it. Quiet despair- even for security- is a turn off. If you hate your job describe your hobbies, passions or how you’ve started taking steps into making your dream job a goal. 

4. Reading and responding to her profile increases the likelihood she will read yours: 

Do: Be witty. Be curious and ask questions to begin a friendship. Accept ‘No’ means no. Understand non-responses means no. Know hesitation and ‘I don’t know’ means please go slower. 

Don’t: Mention sex. Ask for sex. Only compliment her looks.

5. Quality responses are more important than quantity or timely responses online: 

Do: Text sparingly. Find out a good time to call and call in the time window she prefers. 

Don’t: Impose yourself into her life. Assume you are entitled to her time, texts and attention. Exclusivity is a valuable gift a man earns through consistent, caring behaviors over time. 

7. Only begin and/or end communications with manners:

Do: Tell/text/write the woman, ‘I think you’re a sweet girl, just not the one for me. I wish you the best’ if you’re unsure how to gracefully end communications with her.

Don’t: Ghost her. Blame her for your lack of feelings. Have sex with her if you already know you’re not going to ask her out again 

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Dating profiles greatly differ from men who are dating for fun versus relationship. Conversations become less guarded, more authentic. Relationship-oriented men become more detailed, transparent and direct. They begin to enjoy blossoming friendships as they know their best romantic match is also their future best friend.