6 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Feminine Energy

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6 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Feminine Energy
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How does a modern woman cultivate feminine energy? What does that even mean? Can you learn how to give off feminine energy?

There's no definitive guide for how much of the feminine energy to embrace or in what contexts it can best serve you.

The whole idea of feminine energy can sound a little "woo-woo" to some women, while others embrace this construct freely.

Notions of masculine and feminine energy can get pretty convoluted, even among professionals.

RELATED: How To Balance The Masculine & Feminine Energy In Your Relationship

Looking at feminine and masculine energy from a blend of various lenses — such as psychology, sociology, energy work, and neurology — can perhaps shed some light on what exactly it is and how you can cultivate it in your life.

Defining masculine and feminine energy.

How masculinity and femininity are labeled and discussed seems to be similar across domains, but the motive and acceptance of those terms vary.

Masculine energy, sometimes referred to as "yang," often refers to a mindset, certain characteristics, and patterns of behavior that are active and action-oriented.

Here are some masculine characteristics:

  • Being action-oriented
  • Giving and generous
  • Organizational
  • Systemizing
  • Analytical
  • Logical
  • Singularly focused
  • Aggressive
  • Individualistic
  • Challenging
  • Rigid

Feminine energy, or "yin," denotes a disposition rooted in stillness. Held in concert, this polarity of masculinity and femininity represents a balance of activity and stillness.

Here are some feminine characteristics:

  • Stillness (being passive)
  • Receiving
  • Spontaneous
  • Fluid
  • Empathic
  • Feeling
  • Multitasking
  • Nurturing
  • Collective
  • Accepting
  • Flexible

It's about energy, not gender roles. 

Many people in contemporary society reject the labels of masculine and feminine, believing they are outdated and sexist, while others cling to binary gender roles as a blueprint for life.

Certainly, the labels of masculine and feminine can lead to dicey pairings with gender roles, which is not necessarily what these different groupings of energy or characteristics were created to delineate.

Whether someone has more masculine or feminine traits is not necessarily tied to their gender.

Every person needs to possess some aspect of both masculine and feminine energy.

Think about it: If you were always passive, you would never even get out of bed, let alone send back an undercooked meal at a restaurant, or set boundaries with an overbearing coworker.

The simple act of standing up to hustle for your morning coffee is considered masculine by these definitions.

Everyone on the gender continuum exhibit traits that are outlined as masculine or feminine, regardless of their brain sex or body sex.

Nature versus nurture.

Biology plays a role, but social conditioning has a lot to do with how we learn to express our genetic potential.

According to an early study, every human starts as a female. Those who develop into men generally do so because they are introduced to a Y chromosome. The levels of testosterone that follow allow for the expression of male biology.

All humans have the capacity for personality traits that have been labeled societally as "male" or "female" characteristics.

But over time, how they are socialized and inherent biological dispositions in their temperament lead to one side or the other becoming more dominant.

Some people’s dominance is slight, while others are more exaggerated.

Confidence, dominance, and an altogether "alpha" attitude go with what may be considered as hypermasculine energy, but that can exist in people regardless of their biological gender.

On the flip-side, the hyperfeminine might be better portrayed by the quiet, passive, receptive, and softer personality — someone who does not stir up trouble or make waves, but instead sits back and observes, empathizes, and accepts.

The very same person can exhibit these wildly opposite traits, if they’ve learned how to access them.

Cultivating feminine energy.

When women talk about harnessing their feminine energy, the primary things to consider are identity and motive.

The manner in which any woman sees herself is essential to understanding how she navigates her organic masculine and feminine sides.

It's imperative to ask yourself why you want to challenge your current expression. Reconsider any changes you wish to make in your expression of masculinity or femininity.

Do you feel pressured to do so from family, social, or professional groups, or due to an absence of dating prospects?

Only make changes if they feel aligned with your own values. Continuing to contort yourself into the box of what you believe is expected of you is a surefire way to bring on distress, anxiety, depression, and self-betrayal.

RELATED: How To Harness The Power Of Your Feminine Energy To Manifest True Love

Here are 6 ways to get in touch with your feminine energy.

1. Slow down.

If your pace is always something close to turbo speed, consider taking a pause.

Chronic busy-ness plagues our culture as a means of getting ahead and a way of staying distracted from feelings that are uncomfortable, like vulnerability.

Getting in touch with your feminine side requires you to be more adept at navigating vulnerability.

The fallacy is that vulnerability a sign of weakness, but the practice of accepting the risks inherent in vulnerability requires Olympian strength.

Withstanding the wind is a trait assigned to the feminine because staying put is often perceived as weak, but stillness in discomfort requires an endurance that fight-or-flight just cannot sustain.

2. Examine your defenses and unmet needs in life.

Often when someone is operating in survival mode, they tend to function with less patience and more impulsivity.

Being quick to act may keep you safe from a lunging tiger or a speeding Mercedes. But, the anti-thesis is openness, receptivity, and the kind of stillness needed to accept, nurture, and blossom.

Learning about your unmet needs can set you free from them.

Easier said than done, but knowing how to meet your needs — either for yourself or through amazing people you trust to let in — can leave you feeling more steady, secure, and able to rest from a constant state of survival-based activities.

Flowers don’t bloom in a wildfire, and people can’t holistically thrive when they are doing their best just to survive.

3. Practice saying "thank you."

Gratitude is the practice of accepting what is available and cherishing it as abundance. This simple shift in your mind can activate neuropathway development that guides you towards positivity, another subtlety of the feminine.

This is not to say settling or accepting mistreatment but allowing for compliments to land without explaining them away or for lemonade to be made from life’s lemons can shift your mindset into one that's calm, content, and soft.

All of this allows for deep connection and presence within yourself and those around you.

4. Aim for balance.

Cherish your masculine traits just as much as you might the feminine. In order for calm to set in, the body must first know what it means to be in action.

The same is true in reverse. The tension between activity and stillness is necessary for the survival of any living being, so even if you tend to possess more masculine traits, that’s OK.

Own them. Cherish them, too.

Self-loathing is not possible when you accept and love all of your parts. Self-love allows more organic expression of your fullest range of traits.

5. Check your biases.

Do you bristle any time someone uses feminine language?

For some women, a level of internalized sexism or misogyny has made it challenging for them to accept and develop the parts of themselves that may have led them to feel vulnerable, unworthy, targeted, or broken.

Examine how you feel about gender, the messages you received about it, and how that may shape your willingness to allow a little more tenderness into your psyche and social presence.

6. Be tender with yourself and others.

Show yourself and those around you some empathy, especially when it feels hard. That doesn't mean allowing yourself to be treated poorly, but compassion can exist without condoning.

Give yourself a break and a little extra tenderness. Let the stillness set in.

Above all, remember this: The goal is to strike a balance between your right and left brain, active and passive, and the masculine and feminine. These traits are two sides of the same coin, not mutually exclusive entities.

Give yourself permission to get to know all of your various dimensions — and let them be seen fully.

RELATED: How To Be More Feminine In 9 Steps

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Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, PACT II Couples Therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy in Los Angeles and Miami. The team at Modern Intimacy focuses on helping people heal from trauma, addiction, and sex and relationship issues. Follow her on Instagram @drkatebalestrieri.

This article was originally published at Poosh. Reprinted with permission from the author.