Self, Sex

5 Ways To Instantly Feel Sexier In Your Own Skin (That Men Will Notice)

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how to attract men how to feel sexy

Are you single and still sleeping in your flannel pajamas while waiting for Mr. Right to sweep you off your feet? Throw away the Cinderella dreams — along with your outdated nightie — and get ready to learn the art of how to attract men before you walk out the door for the evening.

Often, when you aren’t in a relationship, you don’t dress as if your dream guy was picking you up for dinner. Let’s face it. It’s easy to get lazy and end up in a rut.

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You can’t remember your last kiss. You’ve gained a few pounds since your last relationship. You've started to wear less makeup. Your favorite dress never made it to the dry cleaner and still has a spot on the side from the night you spilled red wine on it. The last time you got waxed was when someone detailed your car a year ago.

The truth is, you just don't feel sexy in your own skin like you used to.

Sound familiar? My advice is very simple. Start creating rituals at home that will prepare you to feel great about yourself. You can create a sexier new you who feels great in her own skin before having a crush on that someone special. You’ll be surprised at how you’ll start attracting men just by feeling sexier in your own skin. 

Here’s my step-by-step guide for how to feel sexy in your own skin — that will help you attract men, as a result:

1. Out with the old.

Toss away a few pieces of old lingerie that are cluttering your bureau. Do this right away. It’s time to erase the memories of your past passionate affairs. Out with the old, and in with the new.

2. Treat yourself to something new.

Invest in one new piece of lingerie. Find a great sale at Victoria’s Secret or go online and select one that fits within your budget. Pick out your favorite color.

Think of your new purchase as your favorite little black dress. Before you go imagining wearing it with your new dream guy someday, wear it for yourself first. For now, you’ll be wearing this to sleep at night at least once a week. You’re on your way to a sexier new you.

3. Develop a new look.

Take a look at your makeup drawer. When was the last time you invested in a simple lip-gloss? Toss away the old makeup and head over to your local department store. Walk around the cosmetics department and find a comfy stool to sit on. Get ready for a free makeover.

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Imagine yourself going on a date night, while your makeup is being professionally applied. The date night is with your number one fan, yourself. Make sure to get a list of the colors and pick up one item. My suggestion is to replace your outdated lip-gloss with a new color for the season. There’s something very sexy about luscious lips and it’s time! Your lips are made for kissing.

4.  Set the stage.

Back at the ranch, it’s time to set the scene in your romantic bedroom. Put away the photos of your family and friends in your bedroom. Move your computer to another room in the house.

You’ll be creating a romantic atmosphere and will leave the boardroom behind. Light some candles. Put on some relaxing music, and grab some massage oil.

There’s no need to purchase Kama Sutra oils if you don’t have them handy. Baby oil will work just fine. Give yourself a well-deserved foot massage and then curl up with a romance novel.

5. Relax.

On the following week, change the ritual slightly and if you have a bathtub in your home or apartment, take a bubble bath. Light your candles and have the music going in the background. Put on your new sexy signature piece of lingerie afterward and fall asleep in dreamland. You’ll wake up every morning and start to feel sexier just from creating these rituals.

Now, go out in public and smile at everyone you meet. It’s time to practice the art of flirting. I’ve been flirting since my first crush when I was four years old. It never goes out of style. You’ll appear happier, more confident, more approachable, and there is nothing sexier than a confident woman to attract a quality man. You’ll walk into a room and people will wonder, “Who’s that girl?”

Personally, I have practiced these steps and I know they do work. With very little investment, other than one piece of new lingerie and a lip-gloss, you will notice a shift in your attitude. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt better going to sleep just by lighting a few candles and reading an uplifting book or story, and falling asleep wearing my signature piece of lingerie. You’re now on your way to creating a sexier new you!

RELATED: What Men Really Think Of Your Makeup

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

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