How To Move On From Your Ex (Even When You're Tempted To Go Back)

Photo: Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash
how to get over your ex
We’ve all been there — going back to the trough of a painful relationship that feels more like an addiction than love.

The Universe gives us what we settle for, and this is no exception. We know we need to move on, but something compels us to stay.

Why are some things easier said that done?

If the relationship is new or there is still a sexual fire burning between the two of you, it could simply be addiction. We are flooded with a pharmacy of natural chemicals that are often mistaken for love. This can cloud our better judgment and lead to decisions we might later regret. The word ‘sex’ comes from old Latin, meaning ‘to cut’ — enough said.

If you are past the extreme passion stage and still feel stuck, you will have to look deeper to be free of the ties that bind. Because if you want to get over your ex, you will need to resolve these old hurts.

We all carry unresolved experiences from the past — they are held in our bodies and drive behaviors of every kind.

These could range from previous relationships all the way back to early family life. If we don’t resolve this old hurt, we may continue unhealthy patterns that don’t serve us.

In order to move into the realm of sacred relationships, we must clear what drives us. We must get our free will back.

You may think you are past the old boyfriend that cheated or broke up with you for no good reason, but your body remembers. It’s still in there somewhere.

Hurts from childhood that keep you in a frequency of let-down may be buried down deep as well. As your soul wants this old baggage resolved, you may keep experiencing similar feelings of let-down in current situations. In other words, those old painful experiences are trying to get your attention. They want to be resolved.

All relationships are there to serve.

Sometimes relationships are there to serve us with the experience of true love and even having a family. However, they can also be there for us to see what we carry from the past. As we notice what comes up in ourselves and how we react to it, we have access to releasing it.

When someone pushes our buttons, the buttons are ours, right? We may get angry or frustrated at them, but the underlying issue started with us and is most likely from earlier in our life.

You have access to rewriting your story.

Have you noticed the mind isn’t always an ally? We tend to ruminate about the things we can’t control, which can keep us stuck in ‘more of the same’. When we go deeper than the stories about the past, we have access to resolving them.

There are five techniques I use in my practice that are meaningful in resolving these issues, the most important being forgiveness. Before you say, “I’ve tried that” or “They don’t deserve to be forgiven”, please hear me out.

This is not your father’s forgiveness. True forgiveness means 'to forgo' or 'offer up'. When we connect to the ‘higher power of our understanding’ with humility and gratitude, we may find it’s easier to let go of the past than we had imagined.

When your heart is clear, you can attract a relationship that reflects your counterpart. In this full heart, you can match frequency with a partner that loves, respects, and cherishes you — and the past doesn't have to equal the future.

John Newton helps people with all aspects of well-being: Physical, mental, emotional, financial and spiritual. To experience a free audio with Ancestral Clearings, please visit his website for more.