Hilarious Sound Bites

Photo: getty
Hilarious Sound Bites

Last week I participated in the Conscious Relationship Summit (, listening to a lot of experts speaking about bringing consciousness into love relationships, dating, and parenting.  It was fascinating, and I sincerely hope they do it again next year.  There was a lot of interesting, informative, and affirming information shared.

And there were a lot of great sound bites.  I think I shocked some of my Facebook friends on Monday by announcing, “Smoking is bad for your penis (or vulva).”  It made perfect sense in the context of sex and aging, and was hysterical to me as a sound bite.  The speaker was talking about how people start to give up on sex as they age.  1/3 of couples in their 60’s have stopped, and 2/3 in their 70’s have stopped.  But he had great news.  For those who kept having sex, it kept being good.  The quality of the sex didn’t decline as people aged… unless they had other health concerns, like smoking or obesity; thus the sound bite.    

My other favorite was “Sex:  Do it for your kids!”  I was ROTFL. What he meant was, be a good role model by modeling healthy sexual behavior.  Show the kids mom and dad still love each other and enjoy being physically affectionate and romantic together.  He wasn’t saying to “do it” in front of your kids, but what a great bumper sticker idea!  Some things are just so funny taken out of context.

And sometimes, being out of context can be really erotic as well.  I feel like I’m on a bit of a soapbox about this, but familiarity breeds boredom in bed.  When was the last time you did something out of context in the sexual arena? Sure, it can be scary, but if you read my last blog post, you might remember that scary and exhilarating are two sides of the same coin.  

Laughter is a good lubricant anyways, so it’s not the end of the world if you make a gaffe with your new toy.  I remember one time, making love with my husband (I can't believe I'm telling everyone this!), with just the right combination of air and lubricant, and I started producing what my partner later named “vag farts”.  How embarrassing!!  But I really didn’t want to stop, so I laughed instead.  He wasn’t bothered by the noise at all, and I learned how to lighten up a little.  I really think that half the battle of
growing more conscious is in learning to take yourself less seriously.  Hmm, maybe there’s another bumper sticker in here somewhere…