Love, Self

Do Looks Matter?

woman mirror image appearance looks face

Looks. It's one of the most interesting and controversial topics related to relationships. You have those individuals who say looks are very important and you have those who say looks aren't important because "it's what is on the inside that matters." So, who is right?

If I have to pick, I'm going to side with those who say that looks are important. But before you start calling me a chauvinistic pig who only cares about how hot a woman is, hear me out. 5 Reasons He'll NEVER See You As 'The One'

Let me preface this by saying looks are no more important than any of the other aspects which make up a good relationship. Looks are no more important than communication, trust, shared values, common goals and sexual compatibility. But unless you are Mother Theresa, how can you be in a relationship with a guy if you aren't attracted to him? Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who was a really good guy, but no matter how much you tried you just couldn't get past his looks? It's like trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole. And no matter how much you try,it just doesn't work.

When I was in my 20's I dated a girl who was a sweetheart. I really couldn't say anything bad to say about her, but for some reason I just didn't find her atrtactive. Still, I tried. I stayed in that relationship, trying to talk myself out of leaving because she was such a good girl. But the bottom line was I just was not attracted to her and no matter how much I tried I couldn't get past her looks.

Call me shallow. Call me a jerk. But the truth is that I was being honest with myself. If you're not attracted to someone, you're not attracted to someone. Will I Ever Be Good Enough To Love?

The only time I believe looks become an issue is when a person makes them more important than the other pieces of the puzzle. The good news is that looks are very subjective. What you find attractive, your girlfriend might find repulsive.

I believe looks open up the door but it is the essence of the person — who they are, how they treat you and how well you can work together as couple — that ultimately makes you decide if you should stay. You can have the greatest looking guy in the world, but if he doesn't give you all of those other important qualities that you need to be happy and fulfilled, it doesn't make a difference how great his hair is or how piercing his smile is; it will never lead to the happy and fulfilling relationship you desire.

So, let's be honest. Looks are important.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.