4 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Toxic & Controlling That You Should Never Ignore
Toxic partners come with warning signs.
getty You feel devastated, empty, and ashamed. You are yet again alone and destroyed by another bad relationship with a toxic person.
Why is it that you only see the signs of a toxic relationship after it has ended? Why were you so blind to your partner's controlling behavior and frequent mental abuse?
It is already difficult to re-build yourself after a failed relationship but re-building from a destructive relationship feels even worse.
But, it is possible to protect yourself from unsafe partners, toxic people, and unhealthy relationships.
Here are 4 signs of a toxic relationship and controlling behavior from an abusive partner.
1. He checks in too much
If you are in a relationship and receiving multiple or successive text messages and phone calls from your partner, it's time to sound the alarm! The messages could end with emojis, hearts, or cute pet names but the content is focused on where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing.
You ask yourself, "Why are they checking in so much?" If there is not a real concern — such as a sickness or being emotionally upset — there is a reason for suspicion. The partner could be insecure and it may show signs of controlling or stalking behaviors.
- Controlling behaviors may look like not wanting you to wear certain clothes or spending time with specific people or anyone aside from them.
- Stalking behaviors can include constantly checking your social media, tracking your whereabouts, and showing up to where you are unexpectantly.
2. You're losing friends
Are you asking yourself, "What type of friends am I losing?" and "Why am I losing friends?"
You should be worried if you are losing friends too quickly or losing close and long-term relationships. Often times, abusive or unhealthy partners want to isolate their victims.
When family or friends are out of reach, then who is available comfort you when you're stuck in a toxic and controlling relationship? You are trapped with only your toxic partner for emotional support.
3. You are pressured to share things you are not ready for
Deep and personal questions asked in the early stages of a relationship can be a red flag, especially if there is pressure.
For example, your partner or date wants to know your deepest darkest secret after a short time period such as a third date or less than a month of talking to each other.
Persistent questioning is masked with curiosity. You may not feel ready to share but end up doubting yourself because of their persistence.
The above situation can be a sure sign of future behaviors when it comes to asking you to do things you are not ready or want to. Pressure to share things can turn into pressure to do things you are not comfortable doing.
4. You feel anxious or nervous when your partner is upset
What do your distressing feelings say about your relationship or partner?
Your feelings may be a sign of your partner's emotional instability and anger outbursts. Outbursts begin with yelling then escalating to throwing, destroying things, or even punching.
Or, you feel anxious or nervous because your partner may hurt themselves. If they are threatening to hurt themselves there can be a great deal of burden or guilt you experience to help them. A high-stress relationship is not a healthy one.
If any of these relationship red flags occur, especially if multiple signs are occurring at once, take the life-saving step to remove yourself from the relationship. It is important to see these warnings early on rather than ignoring and rationalizing your partner’s behavior.
It is much easier to leave when there have been less time, investment, and emotions.
Lastly, if you are noticing a pattern of toxic partners you may want to ask yourself: "What about these people attracts me to them?"
Seek out help through counseling services to end the cycle of toxic relationships so you can find the healthy love you truly deserve.
Colleen Andre is a licensed mental health counselor at Life Counseling Solutions specializing in helping women become happier and healthier people in order to have healthy and fulfilling relationships. To learn more or schedule an appointment, visit Life Counseling Solutions, or stay connected to receive advice and tips by signing up for the LCS newsletter.