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Want him to ask you out over text? Keep it short, share your time and location, and don't be shy to tell him what you don't want!
By James Allen Hanrahan — Last updated on May 18, 2023
These days, knowing how to get a guy to like you and ask you out means knowing how to flirt over text in just the right way.
If you’ve ever had a guy text you for weeks without asking you out, you know how frustrating it can be.
Maybe you’ve been flirting over text, but he never seems to get around to asking you out. You think he's interested, but what's it going to take for him to finally ask you out on a date?
If you're more than ready for him to make the next move, here are three simple tips for flirting with a guy over text that will actually get him to ask you out.
How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out Over Text: 3 Simple Tips
1. Keep it short and sweet
When a guy first starts texting you, you may be tempted to banter with him. When he asks you questions, you probably want to elaborate in great detail, thinking this will create a connection. On the contrary, keep it short and sweet.
The goal is to get him to ask you out, right? If you continually engage in long text conversations, he will feel satisfied with the attention and not be hungry to see you in person.
Examples of short and sweet texts include:
"Sounds good! (smiley face emoji)"
"Great! (winky face emoji)"
"Can’t wait! (blowing a kiss emoji)"
This may sound silly to you, but it makes perfect sense to a guy. Using three words or less and tossing in a few emojis to answer his texts will let him know you're ready for him to move from texting to asking you out.
2. Keep it to time and location
The next step is to keep it to time and location. This basically means you prompt him by letting him know when you’re available, as well as where you'll generally be located so he can make plans to see you.
The key to getting a guy to ask you out is to subtly — yet clearly — define when you’re available. This means you avoid texting out-of-nowhere, open-ended questions, such as, “How was your day?”
Instead, text him statements about what you're doing such as, “Working till six and then I’m off tomorrow.”
Keeping it short and sweet while letting him know your schedule and where you'll be will get the wheels turning and send him on his way to trying to set up a date with you. Frankly, if he doesn’t catch onto this, there’s not much else to talk about.
And hey — nothing gained, but nothing lost, either!
3. Tell him what you don’t want
Sometimes, all the subtlety in the world goes straight over a guy’s head. At this point, it’s time to be direct and tell him what you don’t want.
You can do this is by texting something like this example: “I really like texting with you. It’s fun and you’re charming and smart. However, I don’t feel comfortable only texting. What do you think about calling me on the phone, or us going out together?”
Sometimes, a guy just needs a green light — or a bit of a kick in the pants — to know he can ask you out successfully.
By letting him know what you don’t want, you're opening the door to get what you do want.
Remember: keep it short and sweet! Your goal is not for you to have epic text conversations — it is to get him to ask you out.
So, let's recap here.
Avoid that tired open-ended cliche question, "How's it going?" Guys often ignore this or avoid answering it. Questions like this are not a conversation he feels like engaging in.
Instead, give him your time and location as a way to prompt him to make plans to see you.
Lastly, when all else fails, tell him what you don’t want. For example, “I really appreciate texting with you, however, I don’t feel comfortable only texting. What do you think?”
Using these three tips on flirting with a guy over text will get him moving in the right direction.
Next thing you know, you will have perfectly played your hand when you get a text from him to ask you out.
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James Allen Hanrahan is a relationship expert, author, speaker, an educator of effective communication strategies for male/female relationships. He is a certified ASR educator and T.A. practitioner.