Love, Self

3 Ways To Make A Narcissist Stop Being A Cold-Hearted JERK

Photo: WeHeartIt

Almost everyone has met a narcissistic jerk. Maybe it's the person who butted ahead of you in line because whatever THEY needed to do was more important than everyone else — or maybe the guy who always wants to be the center of attention. Perhaps it's that woman who constantly puts everyone else down to make herself feel superior.

No matter who it is, there seem to be jerks everywhere.

The problem is that we ALL can be a cold-hearted jerk at some point. We display behaviors that say, "I matter and you don't."

In the past years so much has been promoted to bring about positive self esteem within ourselves. Don't get me wrong — healthy self esteem is WONDERFUL. However, the cold-hearted jerk borders on narcissism.

How often have you said to yourself, “I don’t care what they think,” “I don’t care what they want,” or “I am right and this is what I want"? Then there is another outlook being promoted that says, “Because I love myself, I am entitled; they just need to love themselves more.”

The jerk acting like a narcissist will rationalize why HE is more important.

The cold-hearted jerk isn’t thinking about anyone but himself at that moment, but there IS a cure: 

1. Truly value OTHER people's contributions.

The first step to recover from acting like a jerk is to realize other people are needed and important in your life. Other people actually make your life easier — the sales clerk, the auto mechanic, your co-workers, family, etc.

No man is an island unto himself.

2. Realize everyone else has needs too.

The second step to move beyond being a jerk is to realize everyone wants the same things you do: to be loved, respected, accepted and treated nicely. Realizing that others are not so different from yourself closes the gap between thinking someone is less important than you are.

3. Treat unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Remember that "Golden Rule" from when you were a child? Remember to ask yourself how YOU would want to be treated ... and do that to THEM.

When you treat others like you would like to be treated, you immediately shift your actions and become aware of how you treat others in your life.  If you ask yourself this question when you are interacting with others, your following actions will be loving and kind.

Narcissistic behaviors have become common place.

Thinking we can love ourselves and that this is enough has caused division and self-obsessed actions. The promotion of, “It’s all about me,” has caused these narcissistic behaviors. This does not bring about love of self — it brings about control and obsessive behaviors. 

Loving yourself and loving others goes hand in hand — there should be no separation. You are either coming from a loving place or you are not. Stop the narcissistic, jerky behavior and move to love in ourselves and with each other.

One of the things I have learned when coming across a jerk is to ask, “What is going on with you, and can I help?” Engaging with love changes everything.

Jeanne Henderson is a Reality Upgrader at Contact Jeanne to dismantle blocks and limited beliefs in order to move into freedom and unlimited potential.