We Know Where The Good Men Went. Here's Where (And Why)

man on bike

People always say that there are no good men left. Maybe this comes from the idea that women should wait for a great man to "happen" to them, like they are living a Disney movie, locked in a tower, and good men only appear by happenstance.

But let's think about dating from the standpoint of a great guy. I am going to assume a great guy is made up of the following qualities (though I am confident there are many more):

  • He isn't a philanderer or womanizer
  • He takes an interest in you personally beyond your looks
  • He wants to find someone with whom he shares common values and goals
  • He respects women enough not to date those he knows he doesn't see a future with
  • He is considerate of a person's time
  • He's thoughtful
  • He wants to do things the right way and be with a woman of equal quality.

So where are these guys hanging out in the hopes of finding the kinds of women they are looking for? One answer: dating websites. And this isn't me telling you that, it's the good guys telling me that. Here's several reasons why they ONLY date online:

  1. In real life, a good guy doesn't know if you're single. He may find you attractive and look for a ring, but single women wear rings on the left ring finger at times while coupled women often don't. Why would he risk the chance, the rejection? And even for the single ones, are you single and actually looking to date? They have no idea! In online dating, he knows for certain that you are single and looking. There is no guessing game that makes a good guy have to figure it out.
  2. Online, good guys have something to say. When using online dating, they don't have to blindly approach you with a cheesy line. They can actually create a meaningful conversation with you based on information from your profile.
  3. Good guys are online because they want to know about you. They can at least assume that what you tell them is true and therefore they can know something about you. They can know if you're looking for the same things, if you have similar interests, and if you live locally.
  4. They are tired of games. Good guys aren't interested in playing games. They are men who are able to make decisions, like the decision to sign up for online dating. They know they are ready to meet someone and aren't afraid to put action behind the thought.
  5. While online, men feel safer thinking you don't have to question their intentions. Bars breed bad decisions and good guys know that. They don't want there ever to be a doubt to what or why they are pursuing you, so even if they are out and find you attractive, good guys will often not approach for fear of looking slimy.
  6. They don't want to waste their time. Smart men know that blindly approaching women in their daily life in hopes of making a connection is a huge time suck to find the right person. They are more interested in streamlining their search.
  7. They are online to get offline. Most men don't enjoy online dating. It's not fun for them to sit behind a computer, send out lots of emails to get to know women just to meet, rinse and repeat. No, many men go online to find the right woman so they can get offline and never deal with it again. But if you're not online, they won't see you.

If you need more convincing, know that this article idea was not my own—it came from an echoing message I kept hearing from good guys. Take it from them if you won't take it from me!