Top 5 Reasons You're Unhappy and Stressed Out


Figure out how to turn that frown of yours upside down here.

By Talking Teenage, Jennifer A. Powell-Lunder, Psy.D., for GalTime.com

simple solutions to be happier, calmer and less stressed during the holidays (and beyond)


You have a busy, fulfilling life. You have much about which to be proud. You are smart, street savvy, confident and determined, everyone says so.

"Then why," you wonder to yourself, "do I feel so stressed out and unhappy?

Regardless of whether you are young or older, married or single, working outside, working from home, or a stay at home moms when asked what makes you unhappy and  stressed, the concerns and complaints are quite consistent.

Here is a list of the top five stressors which seem to translate into feeling overworked and overwhelmed:




Not matter how many hours there are in a day and how much you are able to accomplish, most of us still feel like there is always more to be done.

The simple solution: Accept the reality that no matter how much time you have available, you will always feel this way.



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Start my making a list of everything you need to do. Rank-order each of the items. Create a schedule for yourself. Now here is the key to avoid feeling overwhelmed, a lot an estimated amount of time to each task. You must be honest with yourself about how long it will take to complete each item on your list. Also ensure that you only include the most important items. Be clear about how many tasks you can complete in a given day. It is also important that you schedule down time for yourself.

This brings us to reason number two:


You spend your days being pushed and pulled in so many different directions some days you are unsure if you are coming, going, or left.



Take a deep breath, there is a simple solution: If you don't feel like you can make the time you simply have to take it! Remember that schedule you made for yourself? It is very important that it include time for yourself. Don't be surprised when you realise that when you reserve some time for yourself, you actually work more effectively and efficiently. Making time for yourself cuts down on stress. When you are less stressed you are more productive.


Do you feel tired all the time? You are not alone. Perhaps sleep is simply not a priority. Even when you do set aside more time for sleep, do you find yourself tossing and turning, replaying your day, thinking about what you should have done or could have do better?



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The simple solution: Get more sleep. Well this is easier said than done. Here are some helpful hints to ensure that bed time truly includes peaceful sleep.


  • Establish a consistent bedtime routine. Even if the time you hit the hay varies, your pre-bed ritual should stay the same.

  • Refrain from overtaxing yourself right before bedtime. Avoid working out or engaging in stimulating activities. Read a book. A warm cup of milk or decaffeinated tea can also be quite soothing. Try chamomile since its naturally soothing properies will help you feel calm and peaceful.

  • If you find yourself unable to sleep because you are too caught up in your own worries there is  a trick you should to try. Take a washcloth and run it under very cold water. Get back into bed and lie down with the washcloth covering your face for up to 15 minutes. After you have done this, turn off the light and go to sleep. There is physiological explanation for why this trick is bound to work, you needn't be burdened with the details. Hopefully it suffices to know that this practice is proven.


There is a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. You can find yourself surrounded by family and friends and still feel lonely. The top reasons many women report feeling lonely is because they see themselves as unlucky in love. The stress of an intimate relationship gone awry and/or the lack of a relationship altogether can take a toll and lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment with yourself and the world around you.

The solution to this one is not usually so simple. If you are unhappy in an existing relationship, it is important to ask yourself why. Maintaing an intimate relationship regardless of whether you are married, takes work. Once you are through the ever exciting and romantic "getting to know you" stage, relationships can feel stale and too routine unless they are tended to with care and consideration, much the way you attend to the flowers in your garden. If you are feeling less then pleased with a relationship, communicate kindly and clearly with your significant other. You may be surprised to find that your partner is feeling this way, too.

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If you are lonely because you lack a significant other remember you have to be "in it to win it." Pining away at home will not getting you anywere and will probably make you feel worse! If you are prone to picking the wrong partners, take step back and try to figure out why.

There is much truth to the idea that before you feel happy with another you need to feel happy about yourself. As many a songwriter has reminded us, often the one we are looking for is right in front of us. Take a breath, take a pause, and ask if have you been blind to what you have.




The sooner you realize there may never be enough time and money, the better off you will be. Enjoy the moment you are in and stop worrying about an hour, a day, a week from now. You really do need to stop and smell the roses. If you are always worrying about what comes next, you run the risk of missing out in the here and now.

The simple solution: Focus on this moment, this second, savour the good times with family and friends. If living in the moment is not something that comes easily to you -- no worries. You can learn. Take a yoga class, learn how to meditate, or simply commit yourself to staying into moment in no time at all you will be getting the most out of every moment of your life which in turn will affirm what it feels like to live your life instead of letting it simply pass you by.


Just like Dorothy realized that she always had the ability to get back home other own, you posses the power to overcome the stress and unhappiness you are experiencing. You hold the key to you own happiness. The door is right in front of you, stop stressing, worrying and complaining. Go ahead and take your fate into your own hands. You are the master of your own universe. You are that smart, savvy woman everyone talks about.

What de-stressing, happiness-flooding techniques work best for you?

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.