Love, Self

What It Takes To Be A Great Girlfriend

smiling black couple

Every relationship we have — even if it does not end in marital bliss — is a learning experience. Through trial and error, I have discovered what it takes to be a fantastic girlfriend.

For some men, straying is in their genes, and you really can't do anything about it, nor should you try. If he is the unfaithful type, let him go. As for the others, who may exhibit a glimmer of hope or simply have commitment in their DNA, the following reminders may be useful:

1. Remember: It's a man's nature to look. Don't go psycho just because you see him looking or talking to another female. Remember, it is in a man's nature to look. If he doesn't touch and you don't get jealous, it will keep him wanting you more. He will then work harder to keep your relationship going.

Same thing with nagging. When you continuously nag it will only annoy him more and then the nagging can turn into resentment. If you ask him to do something for you, do it once and then be patient. The screaming approach has never worked.    

2. Avoid "fatal attraction" calling. Calling him over and over makes it look like you have nothing else going on in your life and thus are more needy than independent. Also, don't stalk him by any social media sites. That never goes down well either.

3. Let him see his friends. Don't turn into a b**ch when he wants to go out with his friends. Instead, embrace it. Give him something to remember you before he leaves and then tell him to have a wonderful time.

4. Remember: Food is the way to a man's heart. You do not have to be a gourmet chef, but if you have a few exciting recipes in your repertoire, then you will look even better. This is especially useful when he has his friends around. Give them their guy time and make food. If cooking is not your thing, have a great array of take-away menus at your disposal.

More couples advice from YourTango:

5. Stock your fridge with beer. Never run out of beer when he comes to see you. A mediocre girlfriend will go out and buy beer once he comes over, but a fantastic girlfriend will have the beer already waiting. 

6. Keep making the effort. Even if you two have been together for a year, don't start dressing like a slob and all of a sudden put on an abundance of weight. Of course women can tend to yo-yo, especially after the holidays, but if you gain too much — as superficial as it sounds — he is not going to be happy.

Try to maintain the way you were when you met him. Or better yourself because you are so happy to be with this man that you love to look good for him. Dress up at least once in a while. He will be pleasantly surprised and turned on!

7. Appreciate his effort. Never assume or expect. If his gestures aren't up to your standards, remember those are your expectations and not his. If he brings you a dozen roses but you prefer tulips, be gracious in the moment. Find another time to let him know what your flower of choice is. 

8. Respect his personal time. There are times when a man comes home in a bad mood and does not want to talk. Do not push him. Simply ask if anything is wrong. If he says he is fine and just wants to watch football, leave him be. When he wants to talk he will and all you have to do is listen.  

9. Wake up with a smile. Men love a positive woman they can wake up to in the morning with the glass being half full instead of half empty. What will score you more points is to let him lie in while you make breakfast or serve him coffee in bed. 

10. Remember: Sex is important. I could not talk about my experience in dating without bringing up the sexual part, too. Sex is not the most important of a relationship, but it sure can be important. When your relationship is comfortable, you do not need to be shy in the sack. Be comfortable with your body. He obviously loves you for the way you are and doesn't want to date anyone else. Keep the lights on and don't hide your bulge if you have one. You are feminine.

11. Keep him on his toes with surprises. You can leave a sweet note in his jacket or under his pillow. Maybe you know he has a hard day ahead and you order his favorite take-out to be sent to his work.

12. Motivate your man. Your enthusiasm and passion to drive him to fulfill his goals will make him realize that not only are you independent but someone he wants to wake up to everyday.

13. Learn his language. When he's thirsty, he's thirsty. When he says "yes" he means "yes" and not "no." When he says he's hungry, well you better get some food in his stomach soon. Also note men don't like to walk around when they are hungry looking for a restaurant as us women will do.

14. Do not try to change him. Trying to create this ideal image of the perfect man is not only going to create a strain on you but also on him. He is who he is. Take it or leave it.

15. Don't get drunk and out of control. As fun as you may have with your friends at times, men don't like to see their girlfriends trashed. 

The benefit of being a fantastic girlfriend is you can teach by example. If your boyfriend is loving and caring, he will reciprocate your actions and be a fantastic boyfriend, too. 

Contributed by Telina McCord, Dating Expert, Fascinated by the world of dating she wrote her entire Masters thesis on The Evolution of Dating and became "The Girl Who Dated 30 Guys in 30 Days". Follow Telina's crazy tales and dating adventures as a RSVP to Love Matchmaker who is looking for her Plus One at 

This article was originally published at Tales From Reprinted with permission from the author.