3 Ways To Teach Your Man To Be More Nurturing

3 Ways To Teach Your Man to Be More Nurturing [EXPERT]
by Felicia Taghizadeh

Flu season is upon us, and by all accounts its a doozy.  Thousands of people are being hit with the flu bug and every woman’s fear is that she will be next.  What mom doesn’t worry how she’s going to manage the house, the kids,  and work if she’s stuck in bed with a fever and chills?  Not to mention that other worry--who will take care of me?

While some are blessed with nurturing husbands who know exactly what to do when you’re struck sick, others could use a little help.  Here are 3 ways to help your guy become almost as good at taking care of you as your own mom would be.

1.  Give Up

Not on life--just give up on your need to control everything!  If you are sick in bed and need to rest, then focus on resting.  Close your eyes, relax, read a good book.  You won’t rest well if you are making lists, texting your man about what to do, and then worrying whether he did it the way you said. 

Whether at work or at home, people don’t appreciate being micro-managed.  Laying out every single step your man should take will make him feel incapable, and like you don’t trust him to get things done.  This will make him pull back, stop offering to help, and, before you know it, you won’t have anyone taking care of you. 

If you can’t do the things you normally do, then its time to let him do it his way.  So what if he puts all the big pans in the dishwasher and runs it three times?  So what if the kids outfits don’t match?  So what if they have hotdogs for breakfast?  It will all be fine.  By letting your man do it his way, you will get the rest you need.  And you will be showing him support and trust, which will lead to him taking even better care of you.

2.  Ask for What You Need

It might seem like you can’t ask for what you need AND let your man do it his way.  But actually you can, and must, communicate.  For you to get well and feel like you are being taken care of, you man needs to know what is important to you.  He isn’t a mind reader, and if you have expectations that he doesn’t know about, then you are both going to be frustrated.  You will feel like he doesn’t care about you, and he’ll feel like he can’t make you happy because he doesn’t know what you want (and might then give up trying).

This is different than micromanaging.  Micromanaging is asking for tea, in a specific up, with exactly 2 tablespoons of honey and a squeeze of lemon, and then complaining when it isn’t the right temperature.  Communicating is letting him know what you need, and then trusting him to take care of it.

So if you want some tea, don’t expect him to just know that.  Tell him.  If you want vegetable soup and not chicken noodle, let him know.  And if you just want him to take the kids out for the day so that you can have the house to yourself, just tell him! 

3.  Say Thank You

Men want to be appreciated.  They want to know that you need them, love them, and that they are a stud--even when you are sick.  I know that lying in bed, surrounded by tissue, with your head about to explode is a hard time to think about your manners.  But it is also the perfect time to teach your husband how to be more nurturing.

As humans, we respond to positive feedback.  When someone tells us we’ve done a good job, we feel good.  And that feeling makes us more likely to do that good job again.  The Dalai Lama has said that serving others is one of the most selfish things we can do, because it makes us feel so good.  So how can you help your husband get that feel-good feeling?  By showing gratitude.  The gratitude will also make you feel better, too.  So even though your tea isn’t exactly the way you made it, thank him for bringing it to you.  Be thankful that you have someone to bring you tea!  There really is no downside to saying thank you!

Those are three easy ways to teach your husband how to be more nurturing.  I hope you stay healthy this season.  If you do get the flu, use these tips to get better as quickly as possible!