How Casual Sex Today Sets You Up For Bigger, Better Love Tomorrow
Grab your fresh start.
getty Believe it or not, having casual sex is one of the best ways to fully move on after a breakup and prepare you for a healthy, happy new relationship.
I was raised with old-fashioned values. You know the kind. The fewer partners before marriage, the better. Each additional man who entered these sacred gardens would, according to this mythology, leave me reduced in value.
So, in an attempt to keep my numbers down, I had ginger. No, I'm not talking about a redhead.
Think of sushi.
It's my favorite thing to eat and in between sushi rolls, you eat ginger to cleanse your palette so that you can properly savor the taste of the next roll. It's also recommended after your meal to help freshen your breath.
This is possibly the most perfect analogy for casual sex because like the ginger as a pallet cleanser between entrees, casual sex helps you savor your next relationship.
Why does casual sex help your love life flourish?
When your relationship ends, you're dealing with sadness, disappointment, and anger. You go through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, and depression.
As time goes by, you know you’re not entirely ready to fall in love again but you’re lonely and horny. It's unrealistic to expect yourself to be oblivious to someone you're attracted to.
While you grieve and give yourself closure, you're still human and crave connection. Sitting around in the house you once shared or have had many memories, it just makes the heartache linger. And you're bored.
After a relationship ended, I had a guy I called, and he knew well to break into, "I'm sorry it didn’t work out. Do you need a drink?"
We would go on a trip together and have amazing passionate sex and then go back to our respective lives. It doesn’t become a thing, it is what it is.
It's time spent with someone you're attracted to or share some kind of connection with that's just meant to be enjoyed, right in the moment. No expectations or pressure, just a reminder of freedom, passion, potential, and human connection.
For me, I found that it helps to prevent some of the issues from the previous relationship from following you into the next.
If you go straight into your next relationship, you’re likely to be triggered by things that remind you of your ex and occasionally have trouble separating this new person from your last.
We've all been there.
Let's say your ex always hounded you about eating junk food. Every time you pull out a snickers bar, they launch into, "Corn syrup is a major cause of heart disease."
You're out on a date a few days after the breakup and the new person says, "Are you going to eat that?" You quickly feel defensive, although they're asking because they want a bite!
Giving yourself a buffer is a fun way to help clear the slate and give the next love interest a fair chance!
It might not be for everyone but it’s definitely worked out for me.
Erika Jordan is an internationally acclaimed love and relationship expert, author, and media personality, and a leader in the field of digital romance and online dating. Check out her six-week course, the Art Of Pickup, or visit her website.