Family

Here's How To Give Your Wife What She Really Wants On Mother's Day

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mother's day gift idea 2018

It is no secret that moms today are totally exhausted and overwhelmed. We are experiencing stress at levels that are contributing to anxiety and depression at epidemic rates. So, on this Mother’s Day, I am going to speak up for burned out moms everywhere and tell you what we really want and perhaps more importantly, what we really don’t.

This Sunday, moms want a small amount of love showered upon them by their families. A hand-written letter and a little something that they really love — their favorite coffee, hand cream, a book. This little something should be easy to shop for, not something that requires a special trip to some obscure store or hours of brain-wracking.


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This one should be easy. If they love flowers, get flowers. But if they don’t really love flowers, don’t buy them. Remember, it's all about keeping the gift personal, not generic, and thoughtful.

And while gifts are always appreciated on Mother’s Day, the thing that will make a good day a great day is to let the mom in your life spend time alone in their own home.

Yes, you heard it here first! Most moms would love nothing more than to spend time home alone on Sunday for a few hours, to do whatever they want to do. That might mean a nap (sleeping in should always be a standard part of Mother’s Day, so no early reservations for brunch), a workout, a long shower and getting ready at a leisurely pace.

It may mean the time to binge watch a show or tuck in for a movie they’ve been dying to see. The world is her oyster in this sacred alone time, no justifications, no permission, no accounting for anyone else’s needs required.

So dads or significant others, if you want to make Mother’s Day truly special, take the kids and go and don’t come back for a few hours. And try to give this amazing woman an amazing day.


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Ask her what will make her happy. Don’t just assume.

Don’t act like you have no clue, but instead, show that you want to create the perfect day for her. Say something like “In addition to leaving you alone for a while, can I bring you lunch when we get back?”  Or, “For dinner tonight, I’d like to suggest we pack a picnic and go to the beach. What do you say?”

The fewer decisions you leave to her, the less planning, the more "me" time you give her, the happier and more relaxed she’ll be, trust me.

Here is what most moms don’t want: They don’t want to get up early; they don’t want to cook and clean; they don’t want to be chasing toddlers at brunch; they probably don’t want jewelry; they don’t want to wait in line; and they probably don’t want breakfast in bed (but they do appreciate the gesture).

And one last thing, maybe they want sex, but probably not. So, take her lead. Let her sleep instead.

We just want one day where we can pretend we don’t have any responsibilities and that our children are always on their best behavior. Spouses, sons, and daughters… you are welcome.


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Dr. Sheryl Ziegler is a mother, psychologist, speaker, and the author of Mommy Burnout. You can follow her parenting advice in her newsletter by signing up today.

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