How To Be A Better Husband Or Wife — And Bring Back The Emotional Intimacy In Your Marriage

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How To Be A Better Husband Or Wife & Build Emotional Intimacy In Your Marriage
Love, Family

Many people equate intimacy within the context of romantic relationships with sex.

There are several types of intimacy, however, and the definition of emotional intimacy has to do with so much more than a physical act.

Emotional intimacy in marriage enhances the many bonds that already exist within healthy relationships. Maintaining a strong sexual bond is important for the overall well-being of all marriages and romantic relationships, but if you want to know how to be a better husband or wife so your marriage can go the distance, doing what it takes to build emotional intimacy is vital.

What is emotional intimacy?

Emotional intimacy describes the ways in which you relate to your partner, including the way you communicate with one another, the level of mutual respect and trust you show one another, and the feelings of connectedness and physical closeness that exist between you.

RELATED: 5 Signs You Have Maaaajor Intimacy Issues In Your Marriage

Emotional intimacy is established and maintained when there is enough trust, mutual respect, and communication between you and your spouse that it allows you both to share your innermost thoughts and feelings.

Deep emotional intimacy happens when you feel wholly accepted, respected, and admired in the eyes of your mate, even (or maybe especially) when this means they know your innermost struggles and failures.

This kind of connection fosters compassion and support, providing the kind of firm foundation necessary for a marriage to last a lifetime.

Typically, when a relationship or marriage is new, partners automatically invest a great deal of time and energy into their relationship.

Being the kind of husband or wife who builds intimacy in a marriage requires making the conscious choice to doing the same kinds of things you did during the courting stage in order to keep your partner happy, interested and invested.

Couples who do this are more affectionate, communicate more effectively, and do things simply for the sake of making each other happy more often.

Over time, it's natural for spouses to begin taking each other for granted.

They may stop communicating as much as they once had, show each other less affection, and even stop saying "I love you" without being prompted.

Emotional intimacy is necessary for both effective communication and physical connectedness. Without it, the important aspects of your relationship suffer. A lack of emotional intimacy may not be the end of the world, but it can definitely start a breakdown within your marriage.

RELATED: 4 Ways To Make Your Love Even Stronger (So It Lasts A Lifetime)

If you've lost the emotional intimacy in your marriage, you can get it back. To do so, you need to revisit some of the things you did in the past, when your relationship and marriage was new.

Being a better husband or wife requires your commitment to remaining invested in your marriage.

Healthy relationships allow partners to feel safe, secure, loved, nurtured, and validated. When partners don't feel emotionally attuned, it can interfere with the way you relate to one other on every other level.

If you want to learn how to be a better husband or wife and deepen emotional intimacy in your marriage try the following these tips:

  • Acknowledge and validate your spouse's feelings and contributions to your marriage
  • Spend quality time together
  • Be honest with your spouse about your feelings
  • Be kind to each other
  • Be respectful of your spouse's thoughts and feelings
  • Remain faithful to your spouse and your relationship
  • Avoid flirting with others, as even if intended innocently, this can create hurt feelings and resentment
  • Manage your conflicts quickly and appropriately
  • Make time just the two of you can spend alone
  • Show your spouse love and affection
  • Tell your spouse that you love them

RELATED: The 5 Stages Of Intimacy (And Why You Need To Know Where You Are)

Remember that all couples argue. The occasional disagreement doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble.

Properly navigating your way through disagreements in can lead to you both developing better problem-solving skills and more effective communication.

Emotional intimacy is a major part of the foundation needed for any strong, healthy marriage or relationship.

Without emotional intimacy and a sense of connectedness, other areas of your relationship will suffer.

In order for a marriage to be healthy, it's helpful to think of your marriage as a home. The house remains stable and intact only when all rooms within it's walls are safe and stable as well.

Healthy marriages must have physical connectedness, love, emotional intimacy, respect, and communication in order for you both to live and thrive in every room your life together encompasses.

RELATED: People In The Strongest Relationships Share These 5 Types Of Intimacy

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Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford is a psychologist who focuses on relationships, dating, and personality issues, as well as a Certified Relationship Specialist with Diplomate Status, and an expert with the American Psychotherapy Association.