Engaged? 4 Ways To Tell Whether Your Marriage Will Work

Engaged? 4 Ways To Tell Whether Your Marriage Will Work [EXPERT]
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Researchers have identified several signs that predict whether an engaged couple is bound for success or failure in marriage. Here are four indications that your impending nuptials won't last:

1. Eye-rolling. Does the groom-to-be listen to his bride's concerns or dismiss them? Responding with eye-rolling, repeating his own perspective as if he is right and she is wrong or responding critically with what is wrong with her viewpoint bode poorly for the partners' future happiness.

Listening to a partner, by contrast, is a positive sign. A husband who takes his wife's concerns seriously is more likely to make a great mate. (Research psychologist John Gottman gets credit for this discovery.) 3 Experts Weigh In On Brad & Angelina's Unconventional Engagement

2. Insufficient responses. Does the groom-to-be take action in response to concerns and requests from his bride-to-be? If she says it's important to her to start saving money together and he goes out and splurges on a new car without her okay, then there most likely is going to be trouble ahead. Success in marriage may soon become elusive.

By contrast, actions that indicate he takes her concerns to heart are a good indicator of a successful partnership. Opening up a savings account would be a positive step.

3. Heavy-duty spending. An orientation toward shopping and consuming often coincides with lower-level people skills. Beware! According to a study by Jason S. Caroll, Lukas R. Dean, Lindsey L. Call and Dean M. Busby recently published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, too much emphasis on appearances and on how a person looks financially to others can indicate danger ahead.

Interestingly, the study found that materialism is also a factor in predicting marriage problems, especially, if both partners are big on buying things If just one party has a strong materialistic bend, the mathematical odds of making it as a couple go up, provided that the household has sufficient finances to cover the expenses.

More Couples Advice from YourTango: 

4. No relationship education course. Marriage partnership presents tough challenges along the road to long-term success in marriage. Are you ready for them?

Being boyfriend and girlfriend is like sledding; just hop on and enjoy the ride and you'll probably have fun and be safe. Marriage is more like skiing; it's a highly-skilled activity. To ski safely, you need to have learned a batch of technical skills. If you want to be able to enjoy marriage, you should master at least the basics of collaborative communicating, keeping anger at bay, and making decisions as equal-say partners.

Many researchers have found that couples, engaged and/or married, who complete a marriage education course have higher odds of marriage success and satisfaction than those who assume they are fine without additional skill-building. Engaged & Thinking About Your Ex?

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A study by Christina J. Kalinka, Frank D. Fincham and Abigail H. Hirsch, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, established that an online marriage ed communication skills course can teach the necessary skills for marriage just as effectively as a course that couples go to for in-person classes. With 24/7 online access, there is no excuses left about not being able to get out at night.  Online learning makes the cost minimal as well.

Stack the odds in your favor. Get the skills you need for a successful marriage, and let yourself enjoy a long and gratifying marriage partnership!

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Susan Heitler, Ph.D. is a Denver clinical psychologist who specializes in couples therapy, and is author of the book and online relationship communication skills course called Power of Two.