Love, Self

3 Things To Do When You're Single So You Can Eventually Have A Healthy Relationship That Lasts

Photo: unsplash / Renate Vanaga
3 Things To Do When You're Single So You Can Eventually Have A Healthy Relationship That Lasts

Are you worried that you're not meeting the quality of person you'd like to be with? Or that you're not meeting anyone at all?

The latter is not usually true, but it has to do with the eyes you're looking through.

If you want to have a healthy relationship that will lead to lasting love, you need to know how you can attract the right man by checking in with yourself emotionally and mentally — and it all starts when you're single.

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In the search for your perfect mate and that lasting kind of love, it may be helpful to remember that you attract people and circumstances to you that reflect your mindset about relationships, baggage from other people you've been involved with, and your fears and vulnerabilities from childhood.

Most of the time, you may only focus on the externals, but like everything in life, it's the inside that matters most.

Here are 3 things to keep in mind along your journey while you're single in attracting a healthy relationship:

1. Have a solid idea of what you want in a relationship

Be clear not only about who you would like to have in your life, but also about who you are and what you really are willing to contribute to the relationship.

It is always your own job to clean up your act and be willing to offer as much happiness as you want to receive.

2. Embrace your vulnerability

Are you really willing to be emotionally vulnerable and trusting with another person? How are you at releasing or sharing control of the details of your life? Do you like to have other people in your space? What about all up in your emotional space, asking deep questions? Are you able to tell the truth about uncomfortable things in your life?

This is not easy stuff for most people, and the vulnerability factor often stops people dead in their tracks from having truly meaningful relationships.

As a result, most people only have surface relationships that break under pressure.

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3. Know that relationships will challenge you

Relationships will challenge you at all levels of your being. This is the true purpose of relationships, to help you toward growth and maturity.

Of course, love, passion, and romance are in there too, but really from a spiritual perspective, the universe uses relationships to propel you forward into emotional places you would otherwise not likely go.

Think about a couple of your previous relationships, or consider your current one. Think about the ways in which you felt pushed, challenged, annoyed, and maybe even angered, and in ways that no one else could reach you.

Also, think of the depth of emotions you experienced, the feeling of falling in love, being totally distracted by thoughts of the other person. Relationships get your attention and put you into emotional places that spill out into every other area of your life.

That’s the way it's supposed to be! Relationships that last will fulfill and challenge you.

RELATED: 9 Secrets Couples In Happy, Healthy Relationships Never Keep

Dr. Darnise Martin is a relationship coach who wants to help you have true, lasting love and healthy relationships. To find out more information on how she can help you, visit her website.