3 Questions To Ask Before Getting Back With An Ex

3 Questions To Ask Before Getting Back With An Ex [EXPERT]
Love, Heartbreak

For one reason or another, your relationship ended and like many people, you want him or her back. You want to get who you had back and you've got a good idea of how to accomplish this monumental task. Of course, the relevant question here should be "Should you try to get your ex back?" There are good reasons and there are bad reasons to get back together with someone. It's all about examining the cause of the breakup and the reasons behind your current urge to get back together with him or her. Dating: Should I Give This Guy A Second Chance?

Here are three seemingly simple questions you should ask yourself to clear up whether or not you should make the effort to get back together:

1. Why do you want to get back together with him or her? While this may not be the most important question, this is the first question you should ask. Loneliness is a terrible reason to start a relationship, and doing it because your nether regions are quivering is just as bad. You need to find out if it is one or the other. Checking if you're lonely is a matter of finding a few friends and spending some time with them.

Go out, have adventures, have fun and meet new people. If all that socializing does nothing but stress the fact that you miss him or her, then you may be onto something. If you only miss your ex when you're alone, don't go for it. It may seem crude but a good way to check if you just miss the physical intimacy is to have an orgasm. If you still want him or her, then you may legitimately want to restart the relationship. Can A Post-Breakup Haircut Help Heal A Broken Heart?

2. Why did you break up in the first place? This is an important question, perhaps the most important question. This answer to this question should color your decision to try to get your ex back. Whatever the answer is, it will fall into one of two categories: either it was an irreconcilable difference or it occurred in the heat of the moment. You need to be honest here. How To Regain Your Sense Of Control After A Breakup

An irreconcilable difference would include breaking up because he or she cheated on you and it was a deal breaker. Another sad but irreconcilable difference would be a couple breaking up because one wanted kids and the other did not. Sometimes the issue is something chronic rather than a one-time deal.

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A breakup due to the heat of the moment includes breakups because of plain old bad timing. Maybe you had a bad day at work and he's been having trouble paying the bills. Your tempers flared, and at the worst possible moment, your pride followed and you ended up breaking up with him. In either event, once you remember why you truly broke up in the first place, you have to answer another question regarding it. 4 Reasons Why Sex With An Ex Is A Bad Idea

3. Has anything relevant changed since then? This is the clincher. Something should have changed since then for you to even consider getting back together with him or her. This question only matters if you parted due to irreconcilable differences. Whatever reason it was that made you break up, isn't just something that happened. It is something that caused your relationship to end, something that mattered enough for you and him to call it quits.

This is not an easy question to answer and will definitely require you to reconnect on some level with your ex-partner. Obviously, this might not be easy, even if you are on amiable terms. You need to find out if he is a different person than he was before. If a new relationship won't just end the same way as before. If he still doesn't want kids, it's off. If he's still the same jerk as he was before, it's off. Advice For Relationship Mistakes

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Now, if you broke up because of a mistake made in the heat of the moment, it is a matter of finding out if he or she is the same person. People make mistakes and if a breakup happened because of a mistake, perhaps that breakup was an error in itself. Reading this by no means simplifies the entire process. It will be emotional and likely extremely difficult. However, a good relationship isn't just something you can pick up. If he or she is worth it and you both want it, giving it another run might not be such a bad idea.

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This article was originally published at http://www.DrDar.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.