Photo: Unsplash: Azat Satlykov
Be smart about it.
By Dina Colada — Written on Aug 23, 2018
If you're a woman who's spent any amount of time trying to understand how to find your soulmate using any of today's online dating sites or apps like OKCupid, Match, Hinge and Tinder, I highly recommend narrowing down your search by learning how to make better use of your dating profile on Bumble.
You may already know of Bumble as the dating app that distinguishes itself by allowing only women to make the first move of initiating a conversation once they've matched with a man, but that's only the most obvious of the many ways this platform helps people find true love.
Referred to by some as "the Feminist Tinder," Bumble was founded by CEO Whitney Wolfe, former vice president of marketing and one of the original co-founders of Tinder, who successfully sued the now rival app and it's parent company IAC for sexual harassment and discrimination, walking away with over one million dollars and the freedom to create the kind of dating app where women could feel safe and respected.
According to an article in the Guardian, "Bumble’s workforce is 80% female and it has shown a zero-tolerance approach to sexist comments on the app."
That said, the piece continues, "While Wolfe’s business might be setting an example for female empowerment, it’s dating app can’t function without men ... 'I’m so tired of this notion that women only need to support women, why can’t we all support each other?' [Wolfe] says. 'I’ve run into women who can be highly problematic, detrimental and mean, just like I’ve seen that in men.'”
If you're ready to create the kind of dating profile that will get you noticed by the type of man you want, you don't want to approach it as you would all the other dating apps out there.
Forget your experiences with Tinder and other dating sites in the past, and follow these 7 tips for how to find your soulmate by setting up the kind of Bumble profile that makes men fall in love.
1. Check your Facebook settings
Bumble requires its users to register through Facebook, so you must have a Facebook account before you sign up.
Once you do, Bumble allows you to full photos and information directly from your Facebook profile, all of which are easily changeable, except for your age. If you don't want your age to show on Bumble, do not post your age on your Facebook profile. Even paying for Bumble Boost, an add-on service that offers extra swiping benefits, doesn't allow you the option of hiding your age from your profile.
Honestly, leaving off your age isn't a great idea anyway. It will omit you from the searches conducted by men who do want to meet women in your age range, and honestly, you don't need to change or hide your age in order to feel younger.
Just be yourself, upload your favorite photos that look most like you do everyday, and write a brief description that's flirty and fun.
2. Post great photos
You can use photos automatically from Facebook, or you can delete those and upload your own from Facebook, Instagram, or your phone.
Don't use SnapChat filters with puppy ears or Photoshop out any wrinkles or self-perceived flaws. Be yourself, looking your best. Men notice your pictures first. So, put your best foot forward.
Here's how to pick the best photos for your dating profile:
- Have a depth of field in the photos, so you stand out from the background
- Wear something red in at least one picture
- Include a variety of photos that show your spirit
And if you're taking new photos, keep these tips in mind:
- Use natural or proper lighting
- Wear some makeup
- Do your hair
It may seem shallow to judge someone on looks, but truthfully, that is what we all do in real life, too. Hopefully, the men whose profiles you see will provide enough information about themselves to give you an idea of who they are, but a lot of guys don't, and frankly, it's a tough thing to do with a limited number of characters.
3. Don't swipe left or right mindlessly
Bumble is pretty simple to use. You can tap the beehive icon in the right-hand corner of the app to see your matches.
Swipe left if you don't find someone interesting or attractive. This declines him as a match.
If a man does catch your eye, swipe right. This indicates that you'd like to match with him.
When you both have swiped right on one another and match, his photo will be in a yellow circle at the top of your screen. This means the ball is in your court, and you can send out a message to him first. If you don't send him a message within 24 hours, he disappears from your matches.
If you accidentally swipe left on someone you wanted to connect with, you can give your phone a shake and it will bring them right back to your screen for round two of swiping. Be careful though, as Bumble allows you only 3 shakes a day to rematch, unless you pay for an upgraded level of service.
Everything happens for a reason though, and if you can't bring a guy back, it probably wasn't meant to be. If it is destiny, he will show up in your matches again someday, as they do cycle back through occasionally.
4. Be smart about your personal information and description
To change your settings, click the upper left arrow and then the little body icon at the top left. You can change your career, education, bio and link up your Spotify and Instagram accounts, if you choose.
You can also change the description from your Facebook profile, unless you want your matches to know that you are the Founder of a Dating and Relationship Blog. Personally, I don't think they need that information about me from the get-go, but you do you.
In your description, write about positive things.
Don't complain about what you don't want, please. This is a huge turnoff, for men or for anyone on dating apps, really.
To make your Bumble profile public or private — so men can either see you or not see you as a potential match — use the slider on the top left-hand corner. You can also pick if you are interested in meeting men, women, or both.
To choose your preferred age range, use the slider in the middle to pick the age of the men or women you want to date. How old is too old for you, and how young is too young?
Then decide how far is too far to travel for a date. You can stick to your town, or pick distances from 1 mile up to 100 miles. The GPS tracker may be a little off, but you can always check someone's location from their profile and check your map.
Also, note that when you travel, Bumble automatically updates your location. So if you are vacationing in Florida but live in Oklahoma, you can get some dates while you are on vacation.
5. Check your notification settings
You can set an alert on your phone whenever you get a swipe and choose if you want it to vibrate or not. Although it can be exciting to get an alert, it can be distracting if you are trying to study or finish some work, but it will keep you from missing matches or messages, which is especially important given that the clock remains ticking until you've both written to each other at least once.
If you both swipe right on each other, other you will see a green circle appear on top of your screen, and you will have to be the one to start the conversation.
That's one of the great things about Bumble's method. You don't get bombarded with messages from 100 creepers you are not interested, and they're not overflowing your inbox.
6. Give Bumble Boost a try
Bumble Boost is a premium service that eliminates swiping time. When you sign up for the boost, it shows you men who have already swiped right on you, so you can match with them if you like what you see. They are pre-swiped for you. Easy as pie.
It also allows you to rematch with expired connections and extend matches for 24 hours.
But, it's still fun to swipe through and see all the guys out there. There are going to be a lot of matches if you are in a city, and even a few in smaller towns.
7. Don't beat around the bush
Once you match with someone, you only have 24 hours to start a conversation, or the match goes away.
There are many online dating apps for women to meet men, and Bumble is one of the favorites for many. It eliminates a lot of the "work" of going through too many messages and swipes. And, if you upgrade to Bumble Boost, it is even more time-saving, especially if you are a busy gal.
Plus, there are a lot of quality men on there!
Also, go out with some men you might not be initially attracted to. You might be pleasantly surprised and meet a great guy.
Happy Bumbling!
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Dina Colada is an author, speaker and dating coach who has appeared on sites like Prevention, Women’s Health, Plenty of Fish and Zoosk. She specializes in helping single women navigate the modern world of online dating. Get started today by getting her free love-attracting eBook and Heart opening meditation on her website.
This article was originally published at DinaColada.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.