5 Ways To Heal Your Heart (And Finally Say Goodbye To Your Ex)

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5 Ways To Heal Your Heart (So You Can FINALLY Get Over Him)

Romance and love can lead to elated feelings of joy and bliss, and when it ends, it can leave you devastated. The magic of love can permeate every cell of your body, your heart, your soul, and your brain. Thoughts of your lover can consume every waking moment and even take over your dreams.

When love ends, it makes you feel like you have nothing to live for. But you do have something to live for. You have you to live for and you have love to live for.

Rejection hurts and you probably feel it physically. Even though your heart isn’t going to physically break while you try to heal and learn how to get over a breakup, it sure feels like it is. Research led by Ethan Kross at the University of Michigan has shown emotional pain can activate the same part of our brain as physical pain.

RELATED: Was Your Ex Literally The Worst? 5 Ways You Can Bounce Back And Move On

The heartbreaking pain you feel is real. Some days will be harder than others and plenty of them will be hard. But right now, you can start the process of how to move on so you can get to the point where you are ready to open your heart again.

Here are 5 things you need to remember that will get you on the path to healing your broken heart:

1. Realize you're not alone.

Can you think of one person in your life that has never had their heart broken? Okay, maybe you have a couple of friends who are high school sweethearts that are still goo-goo over each other. The agonizing pain you feel in your chest is worse than the bike crash you had when you were 10.

That pain was over in a couple of weeks, but this torment is much different. It’s a different kind of pain that everyone can relate to. It’s not just you and nothing is wrong with you.

Just because you feel the pain of losing someone doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable. You may always have a soft spot in your heart for the man you loved and don’t beat yourself up about it. Love is infinite and there is plenty in the universe.

Understand you just weren’t in the right place and time to be together and there is great love waiting for you. You have to get yourself ready for it.

2. Don’t run from the pain.

I know that you might want to hide under the covers after this and stuff down any of the pain and pretend it isn’t there. Sure, the junk drawer in the kitchen might need some cleaning out, but it can wait. You are trying to distract yourself and not letting the feelings process.

You must grieve and get through the pain to move on. It will be excruciating to go through it, but it needs to happen so these feelings don’t get stuck.

Cry, sleep, vent with your friends, and get a coach or a counselor so you can let it all out. You may have been taught that big girls don’t cry, but if they don’t, they should.

Crying is good for you. It helps to move through grief instead of sticking us in depression. It can cleanse your soul and you can be happy again.

RELATED: How To Move On After Letting Go Of Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back

3. Allow space for yourself.

Welcome this time to get to know yourself. You don’t need to rush into finding another boyfriend right away. You will be okay by yourself.

It’s that simple. You probably don't feel like skipping quite yet, but you will get there. You are okay. Where you are is okay. And being single is okay. You don’t have to have a partner to be okay.

4. Accept the past and your memories.

Don’t wage a war against your past and the memories of love that will come and go. You will more than likely yearn for the love that you lost or never had and it is totally natural.

Our brains are good at connecting the dots and it’s part of the process. If you try to push any thoughts away, it can make it worse.

What you think about, you bring about — even if isn’t what you want. So when the memories and fantasies of getting back together come into your mind, just notice them and say to yourself: "There I go again! This is what everyone else does too. There is nothing wrong with me."

This is part of getting to the feeling good part!

5. Take out your notebook.

After a bad breakup, it’s easy to beat yourself up, recall every conversation that could have gone differently, and analyze every text message that you wish you wouldn’t have sent. So take out your pen and start writing about it. And do not read it for at least 2 years.

Writing about the past it isn’t so you can hold onto it. Writing is a form of letting go. Don’t worry about grammar, making complete sentences, or making sure your penmanship is legible. Getting about the gunk will help you release it.

Broken hearts inspire artists to create the most incredible songs, poems, movies, and stories. Write about your love story. You will discover that you are deeper than you ever realized and this heartache will give you more meaning in your life. 

I write because I can't help it. My past heartbreaks are the reason that I do what I do. My writing has helped me process the pain and discover the joys in life and they can help you find yours.

Allow yourself to feel the pain so you can begin healing your heart. It will be worth it.

RELATED: 28 Ways To Move On From A Past Relationship

Dina Colada is a dating and life coach. Sign up for her love newsletter or send her an email.

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This article was originally published at DinaColada.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.