We've all had 'em: mortifying dating fails that leave us crying AND laughing.
By Dina Colada — Written on Jan 16, 2014
You're looking for love and have been putting yourself out there and ... you happen to have a Saturday afternoon free. So you decide to go on a last minute picnic with a guy from match.com who turned out to be not well proportioned, well spoken, well dressed or well end… oh, never mind. Let's start from the beginning.
At any rate, the date was no picnic (except for the ants-in-your-sandwiches part). But don't get discouraged: Even the worst dates — the ones that have gone terribly awry — have hidden jammy sweetness in them. The trick is that the lessons to be learned may be buried deep down in that awful ant hill, requiring a little deeper introspection on your part. Let me tell you about some hilarious dating fails that turned out to have a silver lining, after all.
Dating fail #1
I had a date with a Playgirl model who he wasn't shy telling me all about his photo shoot... plus the fact he had no job and no car. I was not impressed (although he must have had some kind of talent to get himself into a glossy magazine like that). I didn't see his spread — nor did he see mine — but I had a very, shall we say, interesting time with him at our post workout and hot tub date. I did have the pleasure, I guess, (if you want to call it that), of watching him strut around like a peacock. Calgon, take me away. Please. Take me away. Now.
Hidden lesson
Just because he looks like a model doesn't mean he's right for you. Are you pusing away the good men online, and don't understand why?
After eating ice cream with a handsome and funny guy on a first date, we were having such a good time we decided to go to the movies after we shared our hot fudge and whipped cream. A flick isn't the best option for getting to know someone, unless you are hoping for some hanky-panky in between theater chairs with giant barriers, but that was what we decided so off we went.
I held his arm to walk into the theater. As we marched two by two to the box office, standing right in front of us was... my ex-husband and his very pregnant new bride. Ugh. We had awkward introductions and made our way to the concession stand, relatively unscathed but happy to be out of the situation. With popcorn in tow, we picked the movie and walked into a very empty theater — except for two people: My ex and his wife.
Hidden lesson
When you are dating, be prepared because you might just run into the unexpected and the uncomfortable. Are you feeling rejected by men? Learn about this ancient secret.
Dating Fail #3
After some sexy instant messaging, I decided to meet a new man who understood the art of flirting with words. He had that whole "sensual subtlety" thing down pat. We met in person, had great eye contact, good conversation and killer chemistry. But I couldn't help but think about the fact that before we met, I noticed that on his profile, his location would change from one place to another.
I mentioned this and he proceeded to tell me he was a manager of fine hotels and had to travel to different regions for his work. It made sense to me. We parted ways, but didn't kiss goodbye — he also mentioned that once he kissed someone he "had" to finish with sex. (Say what!?) So not kissing on this date was a no-brainer.
Several days later my girlfriend needed a ride to work at a not-so-nice local hotel. We were chatting as we turned into the parking lot and discovered (who I now call Mr. Clean), wearing not-so-sexy, long yellow rubber gloves. He was pushing a cart filled with brooms, mops, disinfectants and trash bags with one hand and in the other hand he wielded his favorite tool — a toilet bowl brush.
Hidden lesson:
If you tell a small lie, remember it's a small world. If you have ever dont too much for a man, and if you feel like you are being treated poorly by men, ever, you've gotta read this...
Dating is sometimes like treading through shark-infested waters. The sharks may be rich, funny, sensual, have bad taste, handsome, chubby, rude, sexy or just plain clueless. You just never know until you get up close and personal. But the best part about dating is that there is never a dull moment. There is always something to learn about yourself (and men) when you meet someone new.
When you have what seems like an EPIC dating fail, there is always hidden lesson you can take away. You may need to have a session with your new dating coach (hello, I know a great one!) to find the golden wisdom deep within that disaster, because trust me: There was one. If you are single and confused about men, dating, and love — and looking to find the right kind of man, don't be afraid to ask for help.
Sign up for my EPIC Love Newsletter and as an added bonus learn How To Stop Pushing Men Away & Get The Love You Want with my Free eBook! You will learn what it takes to connect with a man that you actually want to be with, while being authentic vunerlable, sensual and totally lovable. You will learn how to become the kind of woman men dream about.
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