Love, Heartbreak

10 Ways To Go From Bitter To BETTER After A Guy Breaks Your Heart

Photo: WeHeartIt
sad girl

A breakup can leave even the strongest person feeling vulnerable and wounded. There's no shame in feeling hurt.

Though moving on after having your heart broken is never easy, these tips will help:

1. Make a conscious decision to let go.

This is quite difficult because it’s easier to hold on to the hope that he will come back and the comfort of what you know, even if it was a toxic relationship. You need to let go so you can move on, and letting go takes a conscious decision to wish him well. This takes courage and dignity — both of which will set you up for a healthy and fast recovery.

2. Allow yourself time to grieve.

Let yourself mourn the relationship that ended without beating yourself up for what you think or wish you could have done better. It’s okay it you're feeling sad and crying; this is a really important part of heartbreak recovery. The grieving process takes time and giving yourself permission to take as long as it takes is key to your recovery.

3. Focus on loving yourself. 

There's so much written around this, but it's true. You can only love others to the extent you love yourself. So in preparation for meeting the love of your life, use the time alone to learn how to love yourself really well. 

4. Get comfortable with being alone.

Don’t rush out to find the next guy. Believe it or not you can learn to luxuriate in your aloneness. Indulge yourself in enjoying being alone by doing what you like, listening to the music you like, eating what you like, and not needing to consider what he likes or doesn’t like. Take time to breathe and get in touch with yourself. If you're like most women, you will have lost some of yourself in the relationship, especially if it was a difficult one. 

5. Start a gratitude journal.

Take one day at a time. Each day, find one thing you're grateful for in your life. Write it down with the date. As time goes by, you will look back over that journal and see how far you've come.

You don’t need to write a lot, even just one sentence a day makes a big difference. Once you start journaling. you will feel better immediately. So don’t wait! Get yourself a pen and notebook and start today. I always recommend you purchase a notebook which resonates with you, in the way it looks or feels. It could become your best friend for a long time, and you want to make sure you feel a strong connection with it.

6. Transition to your new life with joy.

Focus on being happy about the small things as well as big things. Pamper yourself with little luxuries which make you happy — simple things such as having a manicure or pedicure or getting a massage as frequently as your budget will allow. Be adventurous and have a makeover, change your hairstyle and color. I suggest a bit of planning here so you make sure you schedule in one pampering activity each week for the first month or so.

7. Focus on your self esteem. 

Your self esteem can take a really hard hit when you're broken-hearted. Even more so if your ex moves on fairly quickly to someone new. Or Maybe you're afraid of being single and feel you're not whole on your own. Being strong on your own two feet is a wonderful feeling once you get the hang of it. Read everything you can about building or rebuilding self-esteem. You will feel the difference as soon as you start your first book or article because you're doing something positive for yourself.

8. Show kindness to yourself and your ex.

This is a self-respect and self-confidence enabler and boosts your happiness to a much higher level, making recovery so much faster.

9. Be mindful of your neediness. 

If you have a trusted psychic, then it may be soothing and reassuring to have one reading after your breakup. Avoid going for multiple psychic readings and seeking answers for your future. Too many conflicting readings can create more distress by overloading your emotions and decreasing your self-confidence. Searching outside yourself is never the answer because everything you need is within you. It just takes time.

10. Remember, you are better off without your ex. 

As hard as this seems, it will get better. With your ex gone it opens the way for you to find the true love of your life.