Photo: kitten
Unleash your inner sex kitten.
By Debra Smouse — Written on Sep 27, 2018
People say confidence is sexy, and it's certainly one of the sexiest personality traits attractive women have. But there's so much more to it than that.
It’s easy to look at someone’s life from the outside and assume they have it together based on their confident appearance.
I know I am one of those women that people look at and think "she has it easy", but it wasn’t always that way. I have gone from being an overwhelmed and unhappy wife to a struggling single mom to finally understanding how to love my life.
And I owe it all to my inner sex kitten.
What is a sex kitten?
I define a sex kitten as the strongest, most confident, best version of myself. It was the qualities that I channeled when life was tough. The reminder that deep within my soul was a woman who deserved to have her deepest desires.
That sex kitten got me through the days when I worried about paying the bills, wondering if I’d ever find love, and if I would survive my daughter’s teenage years with my sanity intact.
When you ask me "what is a sex kitten?", I tell you it was the woman I imagined I could be when I had it all together. She was that shining beacon to my heart on the darkest of days.
My inner sex kitten was the woman I knew I could be one day.
She was confident, happy, organized, and sexy.
More than a decade later — after dealing with the challenges of a failing marriage and learning what it takes to have a happy and healthy relationship — the only thing I was wrong about was that I’d finally arrive to that mythical “there” and have a perfect life.
That future version of myself, that fabulous sex kitten, is always evolving and growing. And you know what? That’s a wonderful thing.
In the process of reinventing myself, all thanks to channeling my sex kitten, I’ve learned to hone those personality traits that make me feel like the best version of who I am and who I long to be.
Here are 30 personality traits of women who think of themselves as 'sex kittens' that can make you feel more confident and empowered.
1. Grateful
She is grateful for her blessings but doesn't settle.
2. Ambitious
Even if she has a great life, she knows that she's allowed to desire more.
3. Sexy
She is the sexiest and sassiest version of yourself. And she is always there to guide you.
4. Confident
She knows how to dance to the beat of her own drum. The choice to live life on her own terms is important.
5. Self-Assured
She doesn't define herself by outside expectations.
6. Individual
She’s unwilling to sell her soul just to fit in because she knows this will destroy her from the inside out.
7. Self-Appreciative
She's a woman who knows the power of lingerie because the person she most wants to impress is herself.
8. Passionate
She knows that confidence and a passion for life will always be sexy.
9. Independent
Being strong and independent is one of her traits. However, she knows when to ask for help.
10. Proud
She's a gal who celebrates and honors her own accomplishments, as well as the accomplishment of others.
11. Focused
She knows complaining isn't going to help her find any solutions. When she finds herself complaining, she shifts her thoughts.
12. Assertive
She knows what it’s like to feel that something meaningful is in her life. So, she’s learned how to get what she needs.
13. Accepting
She chooses to love her life as it is and make changes from there.
14. Goal-Oriented
She knows that she needs a vision for her life. Then, she can create a plan to make it happen.
15. Self-Aware
Her secret weapon is getting clear on what she desires.
16. Disciplined
She knows the art of compassionate discipline helps her get what she wants, while also enjoying her life.
17. Empowered
Boundaries and non-negotiable standards help a sex kitten keep her life on the path.
18. Vulnerable
In order to be the best version of herself, she knows that she sometimes has to be vulnerable.
19. Sensitive
She allows herself to feel rather than numb her feelings.
20. Inspired
She has learned that when she sets goals based on how she desires to feel, her life feels richer and more satisfying.
21. Balanced
Even when she gets lost in being busy, she learns to manage her life.
22. Compassionate
She is kind and compassionate, especially to herself.
23. Forgiving
She knows how to own her story, including forgiving herself for past mistakes.
24. Fulfilled
She believes in luxury and understands that most luxuries are inexpensive, yet priceless.
25. Easygoing
She’s a woman who no longer hustles for love.
26. Complete
She understands that love and belonging are her birthright.
27. Decisive
She learns how to be unapologetic.
28. Realistic
She knows that she doesn't have a perfect life. Yet, she is also aware that even without perfection, she can curate a life she loves.
29. Positive
If she has a life she loves, does that mean she’s always happy? No. But she knows how to be happy most of the time.
30. Bold
She is a woman who no longer tries to be invisible. She is alive and present in her own life.
That sex kitten I channeled during the darkest of times was a woman who loved feeling confident and sexy.
She always had the ability to laugh at herself because humor is important in life.
You might think that a sex kitten means wearing five-inch stilettos, cleavage-baring clothes, and red lipstick. No, darling, it is not. It isn't about being a size six or living a picture-perfect life.
Unleashing your inner sex kitten is about that inner confidence of knowing who you are and what you desire to create. It’s about having deep faith in yourself as you courageously dive into living life on your terms.
Yes, she can wear heels, pantyhose, and clothes that make her feel good about herself. But, she is also defined by you. Your inner sex kitten doesn't wear specific clothes or style her hair a particular way. She is defined entirely by you.
If you want to be a sex kitten, be a woman who lives your life on your own terms.
Let your inner sex kitten be your guiding light in the dark. Choose a personality trait from the list above and cultivate it. As you become stronger and more confident in who you are, that inner light of yours will begin to shine brighter and brighter.
You can become the woman you desire to be. And you can define what a sex kitten means to you. I have faith you can do it because, darling, you deserve to live a life you love.
Debra Smouse is a life coach living in Dayton, Ohio. Get tips and inspiration for finding your own inner sex kitten in her bi-weekly love note.
This article was originally published at Debra Smouse.Com. Reprinted with permission from the author.