Do You Have A Healthy Relationship With Money?

Are you losing sleep at night because your relationship with money is on the rocks?

Life Coach: How To Understand Your Relationship With Money

Some day my prince will come. Or is it my first million? Hopefully that made you smile but I want you to think about it for a moment. 

Sure, we can probably all relate to the fairy tale ending of "Happily Ever After" and we probably all realize that the "prince" (or princess) has weathered with time, be that good, bad, or indifferent. What you may or may not realize is that your emotions around your potential happy ending and financial abundance may also reside in a jaded, perhaps slightly slimy space filled with kissed frogs and broken promises. 


Like going to bed with a lover who you feel may has betrayed you, money has become a source that has let you down and broken your trust. It has been the thing that has denied you access to the things you really wanted. Like the date you never got for prom, the perfect mate that passed you by, or those butterflies that turned to nausea when the phone didn't ring.

You may want to point out to me that money is not a person. You're correct. It isn't. But it's the one inanimate object that you have a very intimate and emotional connection too. It can make you angry, happy, stir up excitement, foster resentment, and bring out the best and worst in people. It has not been there when you've needed it, it has stopped you from doing things, having things, going places, or has it?


Unlike an unfaithful partner, money actually will not sneak around and lie to you. In truth it's only paper and ink that will go to anyone who is willing to receive it. The idea that it's the reason you have or haven't been able to do something or have something is not only incorrect, it's a distortion of your emotions that allows you to feel less then able, or deserving. When you're in this place it's like being the spouses who's being cheated on, but just can’t bring themselves to leave. It doesn't feel good and you know it, but you feel trapped. 

The fact that money is the agreed source of exchange on this planet means you aren't getting away from money any time soon.  However, money doesn't have to be the source of pain, it can be a willing, eager, and supportive asset, if you are willing to welcome it in.

The one thing all my clients tell me as we journey together through my Retreat experience "For the Love of Money, Turning Money Woes into Money Wows and Wins" is that they never realized how much money impacted them and how little they were agreeable to it. The result was they had little to do with money and thus had little money! Money is one of the top three reasons people don't sleep at night. It's not a good feeling to go to bed and try to sleep when you're worried about not having your needs met. All I can say to that is, "If worrying about money made you rich, you'd be a multi millionaire by now!" 

Take heart, the happily ever after may require a little more work then the storybooks first led us to believe, but the money story, can change quickly and become a source of great freedom in your life. Imagine for a moment having more then you need. Having so much money that you could write a check when you wanted, for what you wanted. You could support a great cause, or start you own foundation. Vacation in the places you've always wanted to see. Be there with your kids and in short, enjoy your life. 


It all starts with understanding that you do have feelings around money and it's time you got clear and came clean with what they are.  Imagine money were a person coming to your front door, how do you feel about them? Are they welcome, are you happy to see them, or do you want them to leave? Don't fake this, feel it. It's the first step to understanding how to develop a functional relationship to money, which in turn will allow you to have more then you ever thought possible.

Take this first step and identify your feelings around money, understand you have a lot that goes back to your childhood.  You will want to get to a place where you become friends with money, where you're happy to see money, would invite it for dinner, even around your holiday table.  Please understand when I talk of liking and even loving money, I'm not speaking of greed, rahter a wonderful flow that allows you to have what you need when you need it and then some.

When you build a strong, loving, trusting, and healthy relationship with money you're able to go to bed never worrying about it again.  So tonight, hop into bed with money, and all of your feelings, thoughts, ideas, that relate to money.  Set yourself up for a whole new world filled with sweet dreams and whole wealth.

More life coach advice on YourTango: