Intimacy Expert Reveals 3 Subtle Ways Men Behave Inappropriately At Work
These workplace behaviors are unacceptable.
microgen | Canva As a certified intimacy educator, I have studied male and female interactions with each other for 20 years. What I have concluded is that there are 3 ways in which a man approaches a woman in the workplace and how she can determine if he is acting inappropriately or not.
Here are 3 subtle ways men behave inappropriately at work:
1. Flirty interactions
This is where a man is attracted to a woman and instead of keeping it professional, he becomes a little flirty. This man is not doing this to be mean or dominant over her but is simply attracted to her and is flirting with her. An example would be him noticing her clothing, hair, jewelry, or dress, giving long hugs, teasing, or even asking her out. A woman’s response, if she is not interested or wants the flirting to end, should put a stop to it immediately. An example: "Thank you for noticing my dress, but please don’t mention anything about my appearance again." This may seem a little harsh, but if a woman does not want the attention from him, then put a stop to it, because even though it seems like not a big deal, it can turn into one. Hopefully, this will put an end to his flirting with her.
2. Inappropriate joking
This happens between men, where they may joke around with one another but then continue to joke the same way with a woman. In this instance, a woman may decide if it is offensive for her to leave the conversation or let him know that she does not find him funny or brush it off. This can be tricky sometimes because, in some instances, this is a male bonding interaction, and even for some women, crude joking or bad language can also be female bonding, but when the opposite gender becomes involved, both men and women can become uncomfortable.
3. Inappropriate behavior
This is a behavior that crosses the line and can become unacceptable. It usually happens when there is a power exchange and one person wants to dominate the other and show who is in charge. This is a behavior that happens among men to men in many facets of a man’s life. But when it comes to a man and a woman, there can be an added element of inappropriate advances that a man might not display to another man but will to a woman. For instance, two men can pat each other aggressively on the back or a man can hold a handshake aggressively or give a strong hug. Women show dominance as well to other women, but they will not add in the advances as well as the touching; it is more verbal dominance than physical.
When we relate this to a man in power over a woman, he may try to dominate her by forcing a kiss, grabbing her, or patting her on the butt, all in an attempt to show his power over her. What a woman can do in this instance is change the dynamic by showing him her dominance by shaking his hand strongly and looking at him in the eyes, patting him on the shoulder, or simply telling him that his behavior is not welcome and she is not intimated by him. Men who act this way will not expect a woman to speak up for herself, look him straight in the eyes, or tell him to stop, but that is exactly what she needs to do. As men and women work together they must find common ground and let each other know how each expects to be treated by the other. There is no room for politeness if the other person is being inappropriate.
Sexual abuse is very common. RAINN reports that every 68 seconds, an American is a victim of sexual violence. Females are far more likely to be abused and assaulted, and 90% of victims who are adults are women. This is especially prevalent among women who also happen to be college students, which makes their risk three times greater.
Anyone affected by sexual assault can find support on the National Sexual Assault Hotline, a safe, confidential service.n Contact The Hotline or call 800-656-HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member.
Dr. Dawn Michael is a nationally recognized expert whose writing has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Huffington Post, Fox News, and NBC News.