Dating Coach Reveals 'The Boyfriend Test' That Reveals Whether Your Man's A Keeper
How to know how serious he is about you.
Hrecheniuk Oleksii | Canva Every girl needs to know about the "boyfriend test." It'll come in handy when you're dating and getting to know new guys. Think about it: How many times in your life have you fallen for an unavailable man? How many times have you given a man space while he sorts out his issues? How many times has a man told you he's going to leave his wife because he wants to be with you? And how many times have these relationships worked out well for you?
I understand the problem. You meet a guy. You think you connect with him, and you might even think he's boyfriend and/or husband material. He makes you feel amazing, so you want to believe everything he's telling you. When he starts to pull away, you give him the time and space he asks for, because everyone needs that space sometimes ... don't they? But then you figure it out. He just wants you for the intimacy. That's where knowing about the "boyfriend test" would've come in handy sooner.
Of course, he loves the whole scenario. He loves that you're giving him the space he wants. He loves that he knows he can be with you whenever he calls. He loves that you don't pressure him. He loves it all because it's exactly what he wants from you — just intimacy, on his terms. Even though you sense something isn't right, you still believe it when he says that's not all it's about. You spend hours chatting to your friends on a Friday night trying to work out what's going on. You don't want him to make a fool of you, but you're starting to worry about your feelings.
The problem is, you missed the warning signs at the beginning of your relationship. You missed the biggest red flag that this man isn't going to commit to you because you didn't put him through the "boyfriend test" that all men should have to pass. Pausing to put him through this boyfriend test will help you figure out if he wants a real relationship with you, or if he's just in for the intimacy.
So, what is the boyfriend test, and how does it work? It's very simple: You have to see whether this man follows through with all the promises he makes to you in the first 30 days after you meet. You see when a man is pursuing you, he's in sales mode. He'll tell you everything he thinks you want to hear, and he'll make a bundle of promises to you.
He wants to make being with him sound like the most incredible thing in the world. He'll tell you about all the cool people he knows, about all the places he goes to, and about all the amazing things he wants to do with you. Keep track of every single promise he makes you, then see how many he follows through on. To pass the test, he needs to be hitting 100 percent from the very start. And if he's running at anything less than 80 percent, you need to get away from him before it's too late.
In the first few weeks after a man starts dating you, he's on his best behavior. He wants to impress you. He wants you to believe he's the one for you. What you see from a man in the first 30 days after you meet is the best you're ever going to see from him. If he can't follow through 100 percent of the time when he's on his best behavior, there's no way he's going to follow through for the rest of the time you're together. It may sound simplistic, but it's the easiest way to find out a man's real intentions.
If he's doing everything he should, then the chances are he's serious about wanting a relationship with you. If he isn't, then he's a man who just wants to be intimate with you, and nothing else. It's time to stop making excuses for unavailable men, it's time to stop rationalizing their behavior, and it's time to start spending your time with men who want to connect and have a relationship. It's no more than you deserve.
David Wygant was a dating coach who spent the past 20 years helping men and women transform their love lives. As a lead writer for Ask Men and Huffington Post, his advice has been offered across television, newspapers, and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, E! Entertainment Television, and more.