Self, Sex

"You Is Kind, You Is Smart, You Is Important!"

'The Help.' What a moving and powerful film. If only each of us grew up with that mantra so that the lies of self-doubt and unworthiness would stop haunting us. In the movie, the main character, Aibileen (a black maid and nanny) would say the following words to the 4 year old child that she cared for every day: "You is kind, You is smart, You is important." In the movie, the mother would ignore her child and treat her badly. The little girl just loved Aibileen and told her that she was her real mom. She felt safe and loved in the arms of her caregiver. Breathe & Listen—Our Life Response Kit

As adults, we can become shut down or reactive when we feel unloved or shamed. Our childhood wounds create an ignition of negative thoughts and feelings. Needing the love and approval of others continues to keep us reliving patterns and relationships that make us feel like we're not good enough. How Do You Set Realistic Expectations In A Relationship?

It is our responsibility to take care of our emotional body. No one can fix us or take care of us emotionally. Our connection with our inner pain of self-doubt, resentment, guilt, shame and disappointment keeps us available to our own life. If we don’t feel lovable, kind, smart, important or beautiful then it is time to change our beliefs and plug into the void of love inside. Plugging into someone else to get our needs met will not be healthy for us either. Walking on eggshells and becoming inauthentic when it comes to our relationships will eventually turn others off and cause us even more resentment and disappointment. When we are needy for love, we put up with disrespect and abusive behavior. Are You Dancing On The Beach Of Life?

Controlling others for love has conditions and creates unsafe experiences within any relationship. Our void of love is connected to self-worth issues stemming from childhood beliefs. Put the energy into becoming a healthy man or woman. Become authentic and attractive from within and attract your reflection. Move away any negative feelings about yourself and become connected to your valuable, lovable and worthy self. Look at your significant relationships and acknowledge the truth. Discover how to love and be loved! Find the courage to finally tell yourself. "I am kind, I am smart and I am important!"

Photo Credit: Film On Air Magazine

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