Love, Self

Hey, Ladies ... Wearing A Little Makeup On Dates Is Actually OK!

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Showing Up Makeup Free

In your everyday life, do you shun the idea of makeup and prefer the au natural look? If so, what happens when you start dating? Do you wear makeup or remain au natural?

This is a debate that has raged on for years, drawing strong opinions from both sides. There is even a hashtag trending — #ThePowerOfMakeup — pushing back against people who shame women for liking to wear makeup. 

I understand your desire to feel you're being honest about who you are. But, why is wanting to look great "dishonest?" How did makeup become the enemy of honesty? 

So, as a dating coach for women over the ago of 40, I'm going to weigh in with my dating advice on the great makeup debate ... 

Men are visual

There is no denying this simple fact: Men are highly visual when it comes to selecting a mate. That's one of the biggest reasons why you should, definitely, wear a little makeup — so you can look your best. There are loads of single gals out there and to give yourself the best chance of finding a good match, I suggest doing what you can, and makeup is a no brainer.

I have encountered some women clients who have this mindset and want to challenge men to "take them as they are."

BE who you are  that’s totally fine  who you are is enough. But an attitude of defying him to love you "as is" is not loving, warm, friendly or romantically appealing. That is not the best strategy if you want to find a loving relationship. And would you appreciate him showing up in dirty jeans and ratty sneakers and saying "take it or leave it, baby?" ... I highly doubt it. 

Admittedly, some women might look sensational without makeup. But, is that really you? Honestly, what's so bad about boosting your looks with the help of a little makeup? I'm not talking about applying goopy layers over your skin or taking 30-minutes to put on your face. However, I think you can invest three minutes to improve your over all presentation and look your best without being a "fraud."


If you're a makeup minimalist, just stick with "The Big 3" 

Over 40, a woman's skin naturally loses some of its color and youthful glow (I'm over 40 myself, so I'm speaking from experience). I'm not suggesting you where a ton of makeup, but there are some basics that can surely make a difference. Since we live in a youth-oriented culture, taking advantage of a few little products makes sense. The basic three I recommend are mascara, blush and lip color.

  1. Mascara: They say our eyes are windows to the soul. Only lovers and mothers, extendedly, gaze into the eyes of those they love because this is an intimate practice. A little mascara darkens your eyelashes to frame your eyes and allow them to stand out. There are a number of allergy-tested brands out there in case you wear contacts or have sensitive eyes.
  2. Blush: That rosy, youthful glow that says you are a vibrant woman, full of vim and vigor. The natural warmth of your skin does fade with age. Blush also highlights your cheekbones and contours your face. High cheekbones are a well-known sign of beauty, so enhancing what you have with a touch of color real isn't a big deal.
  3. Lip Color: Whether you wear lipstick, lip-gloss or a tinted lip balm, a little color goes a long way to warm up your face. When dating, you want to heighten your looks to increase your appeal. Kissable lips can certainly do the trick!

Reality check: dating really is like a job interview

When you go on a job interview, you want to make a great first impression. Research indicates that hiring managers take less than two minutes to formulate their opinion of you — that means your personal presentation is essential. Why would that be any less true of dating?

You only get one chance to make a first impression, so make the most of who you are and what you have to offer as a woman, inside and out. A little enhancement goes a long way, to giving you a polished look. In fact, one study found that women who went to the office without makeup, found doing so more stressful than public speaking, going on a first date, or a job interview!

I give advice to clients everyday to help them build confidence and feel good about themselves. Looking your best is an incredibly smart strategy because if you get rejected, you can think to yourself, "Well, at least I looked my best."

Let's be honest about this, ladies  you'd likely shun a guy who showed up for a first date unshaven, with a T-shirt (sporting a beer logo) and beat up sneakers. We are all naturally more attracted to people who clearly care about themselves enough to put themselves together beautifully (or handsomely). And, to think less of people who don't.

So, think about what you can do to look your best without spending a fortune or taking hours. For about $20 and less than five minutes, you can look younger and let him know you are the kind of woman who takes care of herself.

Trust me, men find that very sexy.