Love, Self

Online Dating? Don't Let Your First Email Be A Dud

Online Dating? Don't Let Your First Email Be A Dud [EXPERT]

You only get one chance to make a first impression; this is as true in Internet dating as it is in life. But now that there are millions of people dating online, the competition is fiercer than ever. If you want to get someone's attention, you need your initial email to really standout.

I will get to some sample emails, but before I do, let's look at a few, simple guidelines to help you write that irresistible introductory email to the potential future love of your life:

1. Be brief. Don't write more than a short paragraph.  All you're trying to do in this first email is arouse someone's curiosity and get him or her to respond.

2. Be funny. Everyone loves humor. Don't just say, "I'm funny," say something funny like, "Boy, are you cute! Email me; I don't bite!" This one gets 'em every time!

3. Be sexy. Let's be honest: the search for true love eventually leads to sex. So what's the harm in a little harmless sexual innuendo? This doesn't mean you sleep with someone on the first, second or even tenth date, but there's no harm in creating a little sexual spark right from the start. What Couples Can Learn From Olympic Athletes

4. Be provocative. Don't be afraid to go over the edge a bit and say something forthright. A client once saw that someone had put her in his favorites. Here's what she wrote: "Hey! Hurry up and write me! How are we going to get this romance off the ground?" She got a response within minutes and a date for the following Friday. 

5. Be silly. Don't belabor what you write. The best emails are off the cuff. "Hey, I like collecting chopsticks, you like collecting chopsticks! Looks like we're a match made in heaven. ;-)" One last thing: use emoticons and acronyms, but use them sparingly. More than a couple in an email is overkill. 

More dating advice from YourTango Experts:

And now for some examples. Here are a two sample emails that would stand out in the crowd: 

Example 1. His profile said that he had a mysterious smile, said he likes to camp and had a picture of himself in Joshua Tree Natl. Forest. What You Must Know If You're Trying To Turn Casual Sex Into A Relationship

She wrote: Hello Handsome! You are cute as a button. Is that okay to say to a man? What's going on behind that sexy smile of yours? You go to some cool spots. I see you like to camp but do you glamp? Ever been? Check it out, it's quite the phenomena. I haven't been but it looks like fun. I've also never been to Joshua Tree but I love the album by U2. Does that count or am I stretching? Hey, I'm lookin' for commonalities here. You gotta give me points for that, right?

Email me if you think we're a match.  There's a lot more where that came from.


Example 2. His profile said that he likes to take naps after running 15 miles, works as a financial manager and needs a while to open up. 10 Pros & Cons Of Online Dating

She wrote: I like to take naps after running 15 minutes. Does that make us a match? I could also use some financial management, among other things. I have lots to offer in return. My stellar sense of humor, for one thing. And, I am nothing if not modest. I make great banana bread. I'm still working on the coffee. It's not consistent. We might have to go out for that.

Lots more to talk about. Bet I can get you to open up!

Email me if you think we're a match!


Schedule an appointment with me today:
Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC
Transformational Dating and Relationship Coach
(323) 939-1770