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Before he can fall for you, there are certain things he needs in a relationship first.
By Clayton Olson — Last updated on Nov 30, 2023
When you're dating a guy and embarking on a new romantic relationship, most women want to know their boyfriend appreciates them for their individuality. As a woman, you don't just want to know how to make a man fall in love — you want to know how to make him fall in love with you.
While yes, as a woman, you do provide that extra special sparkle, in order for a man to fall in love, he needs to know you recognize the ways he shines for you, protects you and supports you. If a man gets the inkling that you don't truly see or appreciate him, he will leave.
But if he can feel that you truly understand him and connect with him on a deep, individualized level, he’ll know you see him the way he wants to be seen, and he'll feel appreciated for who he truly is.
Here are 5 things men want from you before they can fall in love.
1. Love and accept him as he is, and make him feel he belongs with you.
Men want love, belonging and acceptance, all of which are different and yet of equal importance.
Love is you feeling deep care and compassion for him. Belonging is you inviting and welcoming him into your life. Acceptance is doing both of these while allowing him to be exactly who he already is.
Men want to come as they are and feel loved for being themselves. The more you create an environment with love, belonging and acceptance, the closer he will want to be with you, and the sooner he will fall in love with you.
2. Respect and appreciate his actions, in and out of the relationship.
A man wants to be seen for his own unique gifts, strengths and talents, both inside and outside of your relationship.
This means that he wants you to recognize his business prowess, his gift for making others laugh, and his commitment to family. He wants to be seen for the ways he demonstrates his love for you, in both big and small ways, and the way you witness him make an impact on the world.
Men need to feel seen holistically, so maintain a balanced view of him, and be sure to address his deepest core needs when discussing what it is you specifically love and appreciate about him.
3. Support his core personality and desires.
Although he's a person with individual needs, there are ways to do your homework to get to know him even better than you do now. One way to gain a deeper understanding of him is to educate yourself about his particular personality type.
When you understand his innermost motivations, thoughts and ambitions, you can speak to his core and support him in becoming his highest self.
The best, most healthy relationships are those in which each of you share this kind of understanding and support for one another, and you have the power to establish this foundation.
4. Demonstrate your commitment to him.
They say that when you give love, you shall receive love, and it's true. When you give a man the gifts of your thoughtfulness, your time, your attention, and your understanding, he will, in turn, give these back to you.
Demonstrating your commitment to him and to your relationship is one of the surest ways to receive that same level of commitment from a man. Rather than asking for what you want, show him all you are willing and able to give him.
In effect, this will create a relationship in which you receive the same from him.
5. Show acts of love and attraction that go beyond words.
The marketing concept known as "experiential rewards" works particularly well in relation to the male psyche.
As explained on marketing blog Smile.io, "Experiential rewards can be defined as rewards that go beyond transactions to enhance the larger customer experience. The goal of offering this type of reward is to exceed your customer’s expectations by providing them with access to experiences that can’t be replicated or found anywhere else.
In other words, experiential rewards have the power to turn routine purchases into a stronger emotional connection between your customers and your brand... As a result, experiential rewards become fully immersive ways to build relationships with your customers that make a much stronger impression than a discount in price ever could."
When a man experiences an act of love from a woman, her action activates the Law of Attraction, and, in his unconscious mind, is linked to love itself. Actions of attraction are those that show him you know and understand his highest self, magnified by the display of your giving, compassionate, and loving nature.
It’s no surprise the old adage says, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Making the man you love a delicious meal is an action of attraction.
So whether you cook dinner for him, send him a loving text, or praise his thoughtfulness, when you give a man exactly what he wants and needs within the context of your relationship, you deepen your intimate connection with each other and make him fall in love with you.
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Clayton Olson is an International Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Facilitator specializing in dating, empowering men and women, self-esteem, and life transitions. He has 20 years of experience working to optimize human behavior and relational dynamics.