8 Hard-To-Hear Signs He's Only Using You
The indications you are ignoring when he only wants to use you.
cottonbro studio, Andrii Zastrozhnov | Canva Men and women often want different things in their relationships. If you're emotionally involved with a guy, it's possible he might not feel as deeply. We have all dealt with this at some point in our relationships — the fear or realization that he's just using you.
Here's a bit of relationship advice and a few signs to look for if you're skeptical he may not care as much about your hopes, dreams, and personality as he does your physical encounters.
Here are 8 hard-to-hear signs he's only using you:
1. He only comes by late at night
Now, I know sometimes men will come over after a night with their buddies, but if he is only making that call when he's been drinking and it is late, you should know he isn't interested in anything but a physical relationship. A man who cares about you for you will want to spend time with you in the light of day, and without the influence of alcohol.
2. He always cancels plans with you
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You're looking forward to hanging out together, but as soon as you are supposed to see him, he sends you a text saying he has to cancel. This isn't just disappointing, it's rude! You are worth having someone show up on time and stick to their word. Don't make excuses for him — if it's a habit, it's his way of showing you he's uninterested.
3. He never takes you out in public
Just as important as his willingness to see you in the daytime, a man you're dating should be excited about taking you out. No excuses on this one — if you two never leave the house, you need to start asking yourself why that is. It's fun to get lost in the sheets together sometimes, but you should also both enjoy a walk in the park or dinner at a restaurant.
4. He tells you everything you want to hear but doesn't show you the things he says
Actions speak louder than words. If he's just filling you up with charming and charismatic words, without proving what he says is true, it's time to move on.
5. He is standoffish
He knows everything about you, but your knowledge of him is limited. Relationships are for learning about each other and seeing if you are compatible. If he tells you very little about himself, he's either hiding something or he just doesn't want you to know him. Maybe he doesn't think you're compatible for the long term or just doesn't want to put in the effort because he knows he's going to move on before you get too comfortable.
6. He only texts about one thing
How many provocative texts do you have from him on your phone? Or how many "not safe for work" pics? (Men, stop sending those if we haven't asked for them!) It's a telltale sign he's only interested in your body — not your mind.
7. You haven't met his friends or he hasn't met yours
If you have only been at each other's houses and haven't met any of his friends, this proves he's hiding the true intentions he has with you. A guy looking for more than a hook-up will want to show you off.
8. He still has all of his dating apps
You've been "seeing" him for a few months and he still has every dating app and you can see he's active on them. This one should be obvious.
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It's easy to ignore these signs, especially when you feel attached or excited about a potential new partner. But the fact is, if he's displaying any (or all) of these traits, he is just using you and does not want a relationship with you. Even though it may hurt to admit this, you deserve more than someone who doesn't care about you beyond mutual physical pleasure.
Christy Goldstein is a certified life and relationship coach through World Coach Institute, and a coach/expert. She also co-wrote the international bestseller Secrets to Drama Free Love.