7 Sweet, Everyday Ways To Be A Better Girlfriend (Or Wife!)

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Subtle Ways You Can Be A Better Partner
Love, Self

It doesn't take a lot, but it requires you to pay attention and open to learn.

For something that seems so simple and easy, dating and relationships are not the easiest activity to partake in! They require time, energy and some emotional investment on both partners. They require a basic understanding of the fundamentals of communication, honesty, and empathy.

Unfortunately, we still live in a society with gender roles. The woman is expected to be the caretaker and emotional one, whereas the man is supposed to suppress his feelings and emotions or else he’s a wimp.

For me personally, I find it very attractive when a man can show his emotions and open himself up to show some vulnerability. But not everyone is like me and for some people, traditional gender roles in relationships can be great.

Regardless of your stance on gender in relationships, there are some subtle but effective skills that can help you be a good girlfriend or a better wife. 


I have found it astonishing that the most basic skills required for all types of healthy relationships and situations in life so many people lack, especially in the present day where electronics have completely changed the way in which we communicate with one another. It just makes it that much more complicated and increases the chances of misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

If you’re wondering what it takes on how to be a good girlfriend or how to be a good wife without coming on too strong or seeming desperate, read the list carefully:

1. Listen.

So many people, including myself at times, are so focused on responding to what another is saying that they are missing the point and feelings involved with whatever is being talked about.

Here are some active listening concepts to keep in mind:

  • Pay attention and give your undivided attention.
  • Show you are listening through your nonverbal behavior and communication.
  • Provide feedback when it is appropriate. Do not give unsolicited advice or opinion.
  • Hold off from making judgments.
  • Respond appropriately and respectfully.

2. Respect prior relationships.

Put your feelings aside because there were people in their lives before you and they will continue to be in their lives (assuming these are people close to your partner).

So even if you don’t like some of them or even one, get over it. Be accepting and warm.

3. Support each other’s goals.

There may be times where you feel you’re not completely on board with your partner’s goals whether it be because you do not fully understand it or think something else of it.

Regardless of your reasoning, it is important you support your partner and put your personal feelings aside, especially if it is something they have been wanting to accomplish for a long time.

4. Pay attention to their interests and passions.

The biggest passions and interests are usually obvious but make sure to pay attention to the little details within them.

(For example, I am very passionate about criminal justice reform. More specifically, I am interested in reentry programs for former inmates. Criminal justice reform is the obvious and my specific interest in prisoner reentry is what you should remember because it’s a more narrow topic within the broad topic of criminal justice reform.)


RELATED: 5 Emotional Skills That Women In The Best Relationships Have Mastered


5. Communicate in a respectful manner.

Don’t swear at one another or insult each other. It is not effective and proves to be utterly useless in the end. Talk as equals. Do not act superior to the other.

Communication is the most essential aspect of a relationship and needs to be taken seriously, regardless of whether you're the girlfriend, the wife, or even the boyfriend or husband!

6. Give each other space without resentment.

We all need our space. It’s not to be rude to people or shun someone. Really, it is just wanting "me" time and that is not a crime nor should it be frowned upon in relationships.

It is crucial to have your own time for many reasons such as not becoming dependent on one another or to reflect on situations and issues that need to be discussed or dealt with.

7. Respect one another’s values and beliefs.

We all differ from one another in some way whether it be politics or religion and it’s important to respect each other and understand that you can agree to disagree respectfully. Don’t judge the other just because you both differ in some aspect of life. If you learn to embrace the differences you can learn a lot.

Dating is not an easy thing and as technology and other trends keep growing, the more complex it becomes. What I do know is that the principles of what constitutes a good girlfriend and a good wife versus a bad girlfriend and a bad wife remain relatively stable over time.

This list will help you be a better partner. None of us is the perfect partner but as long as we strive to be a better person than yesterday, we are doing all we can do.


RELATED: What A Healthy Relationship Needs If You Want It To Last


Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.

This article was originally published at Brittney Lindstrom's Blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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