Love, Self

11 BRUTAL Truths Relationship Experts WISH We Could Write About

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Woman Writing

Writing articles about relationships and divorce is one of my absolute favorite things in the world. 

One aspect that makes it so special is getting to know the brilliant, sometimes hysterical, minds of other authors and editors. It's a great big blogosphere out there, but not really all that big.

At least a few times a week, one of us will get stuck and ask a few trusted comrades in arms for help — especially when it comes to creating compelling titles that will catch the eye of you, our reader, without wandering into the dreaded realm known as the dreary swamps of the click-bait.

As we play the brainstorm game, the titles start out super serious, then inevitably devolve, quite often taking a turn towards the intellectual level of middle school slumber party chatter. 

While you don't need to know all of the super gory details, I thought I would share with you 11 titles that will never see their way to becoming an actual headline, but would sure as heck make my day if they did:

1. Your Kids Will Be OK. Or They Won't. I Guess We'll All Find Out.

2. How To Get People To Respect You In One Easy Step: Don't Be An Asshole.

3. Why It Really Is Hard to Get Along With The Mother Of Your Kids...If She's A Bitch.

4. You're Doing It All Wrong! Get Divorced Before You Create That Tinder Profile.

5. Take This Quiz NOW To Find Out If You're A Sex Addict, Codependent, Self-Love Ungiver, Elf, or Mystical Faerie* 
(*Helpful Hint: None Of These Things Actually Exist!)

6. The Only Thing You Need To Know To Get A Man To Love You Forever Is... Um, Sorry. I Got Nothing.

7. If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother!
(OK, I stole that from somewhere I don't remember, but I LOVE it!)

8. How to Know You're Really A Libra (By Simply Checking the Calendar!)

9. If You Want More BJs, Give More Head. It's Just That Simple.

10. The Most Powerful Way To Deal With That Friend On Facebook Who Always Bums You Out: Click Unfollow!

11. Just Fuck Your Spouse Already. You'll Survive.