What A ‘Friends With Benefits’ Relationship Really Means

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happy friends with benefits couple

The idea of being "friends with benefits" implies that you are friends with the other person. However, this is not always the case.

What does "friends with benefits" mean, actually?

If you've just met someone new and have started to cultivate a relationship, then that means you will be developing a friendship based on mutual respect, honesty, and a desire to have a relationship of some sort.

RELATED: 7 Brutally Honest Signs He *Only* Sees You As A Friend With Benefits

Not all friends with benefits situations start as actual friends. 

So, it can be hard to have all these things without some history. This can eventually complicate things.

Once things become complicated, it can be easy to start asking yourself why or how you ended up here.

"Friends with benefits" doesn't automatically mean that something is wrong with you or them.

Let’s face it, it's easy for most people to come up with many reasons why they're not good enough.

Many people find something "wrong" with them at any given time.

So, it can be very easy to blame yourself when someone doesn’t want to commit to you, or if someone just wants to be friends with benefits while you're looking for a relationship.

However, when people are not looking for commitment, it usually has to do with them and not you.

There are a plethora of reasons why someone doesn't want to commit.

It could be that there's a past relationship that they're still hurting from, so they want to protect themselves by not becoming too attached and vulnerable with someone new.

It doesn’t mean that something is wrong — maybe they just haven't dealt with their past yet.

RELATED: 11 Rules For Keeping A Friends With Benefits Situation Casual (And Avoid Getting Hurt)

Maybe they're just not that into you.

Of course, nobody wants this to be true.

If someone feels like they're not wanted, it can make them feel bad about themselves. But it's still a great question to ask yourself.

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Sometimes, when feelings are involved, it’s easy to look past the "red flags" or "warning signals." So, people will continue to get into a relationship that isn’t positively serving them.

It's easy to spot when someone is deeply infatuated. 

The person who feels this way will show it, even if they are trying not to. This is a good way to gauge which direction the relationship is headed.

How you want to respond to the attraction it is totally up to you.

Don't try and talk yourself into a relationship if you're not sure about them or the relationship — it happens for a reason. When people push themselves into something they're not ready for, there's a good chance that it will fall apart.

At the end of the day, relationships of any kind are about commitment.

Whether you're in a friendship or a relationship, there's always some level of commitment. This involves respect, honesty, and communication.

If someone is not able to give any of these, then there's a pretty good chance that they're not ready for a commitment.

Maybe a "friends with benefits" relationship is all they can deal with at the moment, because it allows them some freedom from being fully committed to one person.

This means that you couldn’t have done anything to make things turn out differently, but you can decide where to go from here.

So if you're thinking about starting a friends with benefits situation, it would serve you to be absolutely certain why you are getting into this relationship.

Ask yourself, "Who am I doing this for? Is this what I want?"

And if you're happy with the answers, then you will know which way to move.

At the end of the day, it’s best to remember that it’s you who has to live with your decisions.

RELATED: 7 Signs It's Time To Break Up With Your 'Friend With Benefits'

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