Sex

7 Signs It's Time To Break Up With Your 'Friend With Benefits'

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friends with benefits relationship

Dating is really tough. That what makes the idea of having a friends with benefits relationship so appealing. Instead of wading through swamps of dudes in the hopes of having some decent conversation and (at best) mediocre sex, you can enjoy a frisky romp with a person you already know and like, but who you know isn't compatible with you in terms of building a long-term relationship. 

You feel safe, it's a reliable situation, and you don't have to risk wasting money and time on losers. But it's important to remember that a friends with benefits relationship still, in fact, is a relationship.


RELATED: 6 *Golden Rules* For A Friends With Benefits Relationship Where No One Gets Hurt


It has its ups and downs, and with most FWB situations, there will come a time when it's time to shake hands and end the "benefits" part of your friendship. Because understanding how to break up with someone is a little bit different in this sense, here are 7 signs it's time to end things with your FWB.

1. Your relationship is keeping you from dating.

Having a friend with benefits is supposed to be a source of sexual solace when you aren't in a serious relationship. If you want a serious relationship, but you know you can never have that with your FWB, it's time to end that relationship and start dating anew, even if this means going through a bit of a sexual dry spell.

If you find yourself turning down promising dates because what you have with your FWB is just so darn easy, it's time to get out. 

2. Your relationship is always on your mind.

Having a friend with benefits is supposed to be casual, easy, and fun. Of course, there are clear rules that it's up to both of you to set and follow in order to keep things light and easy.

A friends with benefits relationship is a relationship and deserves to be treated with respect. But when it becomes a source of constant drama and heartache, it's no longer fulfilling the purpose. That's when it's time to leave.

3. Your relationship has started to make you feel sad.

Seeing your FWB should be a happy feeling. You should happy on your way to see them, happy when you're with them, and happy when you leave. If your friends with benefits relationship is making you sad or weepy, then get the heck out of dodge!

Obviously it is no longer giving you what you need to be happy and there is no reason you shouldn't be happy in any relationship you choose to be in.


RELATED: The Truth About Whether Your FWB Can Turn Into A Real Relationship


4. Your partner is manipulating you.

Every relationship involves at least one other person, and a friend with benefits relationship is no different. It is important that you and your partner are on the same page. If one of you feels hurt or neglected, you need to talk about it.

More than any other relationship, a FWB relationship relies on honesty and transparency in all things. If your FWB starts subtly manipulating you, or making you feel guilty about anything you're doing that doesn't involve them, it's time to say bye.

5. Your relationship is something you've started to hide.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a friend with benefits, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If your relationship gets so awkward that when you're out with friends you hide from your FWB or lie to them about how you know your FWB, go with your gut.

Your gut is telling you that something isn't right and that the time has come to cut the cord and move on.

6. Your relationship just isn't fun anymore.

At its core, a friend with benefits is about fun. Sure, you need to be careful of each other's feelings and be respectful of the other party in the relationship, but at the end of the day, what you two do together should be about having a great time.

If it isn't fun, there's no reason for it to continue. End it, and you just might find that you enjoy your relationship with this person as friends... minus the benefits. 

7. Your partner has another partner.

Of course, your friendship with benefits is going to follow whatever rules you two decide that it should follow. But if your FWB has another partner, a serious girlfriend or boyfriend who doesn't know about you, here's some rough news: You aren't a friend with benefits, you're a mistress. If this sounds way too familiar, it's time to break up.


RELATED: This Is How 'Friends With Benefits' Usually Ends, Says Study


Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. Her work focuses on relationships, pop culture and news. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.