Love, Sex

3 Keys To Lifelong Love

Keys To Lifelong Love

Poems have been written about it. Songs have been sung about it.  Researchers spend hours toiling in their labs trying to come up with a formula for it. However, the question has remained a mystery until now. We perpetually ask and wait with baited breath for the answer to the question, “How do we keep love alive?”

Despite pessimistic rants stating that it’s an impossible feat, enduring love CAN be your reality. It boils down to a combination of three key components and your ultimate ability to master them. Rejoice in this exciting news but roll up your sleeves and get ready to do the hard work, because nothing worth having comes easy.

Daily, you are bombarded by a litany of partner possibilities, existing to tempt and tantalize, questioning, testing and challenging the very foundation of your relationship. Flirtation, glances and smiles shoot like rapid fire.  Only the most dedicated few will make it through this gauntlet, to return to the safety and pleasure of lifelong love. Interested in becoming one of the successful ones? Build a wall around your relationship to keep those forces at bay, by internalizing the following three keys:

1. Expressed Appreciation - No person in the world can argue the power of outward appreciation.  It’s not enough to think it. Your partner has to hear it, by whatever means are most effective for them.

By acknowledging who your mate is and what they bring to the table, it creates an internal desire for them to keep offering up their best selves because they are perpetually being rewarded for their efforts.

How to do it: First, think about the specific, little things you love about your special person and start developing ideas about how to convey it. Will it be through verbal expression? Hand written notes or sweet texts? Small tokens of affection? Start getting creative. A little goes a long way.

2. Respect - When you illustrate respect, every decision you make creates the opportunity for a bonding moment and as a result, you act out powerful and successful strategies for maintaining your strength as a couple.  You listen to their opinion, communicate when you’re having issues, avoid the attractive co-worker that could become a stumbling block in your relationship and continually try to put their needs above your own. 

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Bottom line: By showing respect, you are demonstrating that your loved one is of the greatest value in your life and who doesn’t want to feel treasured this way? Need further proof of just how vital this key is, to a long term relationship? Ask yourself what you would be willing to do for your mate if they made you feel this special? Or better yet, what wouldn’t you be willing to do? Enough said.

How to do it: If the above concept is new to you, start working on developing the following paradigm: “If it’s important to my partner, it’s important to me.” Instantly, your choices, reactions and actions change for the better. 

3. Desire – One of our most basic, human needs is to feel wanted; to truly feel like a woman (or man) and to be with someone that conveys physical and emotional interest. You desire to be shown that you are seen as someone more than the housekeeper, the caregiver, the bill payer etc. 

Never forget that “desire” takes on many forms and every single one is as necessary as the other. Mates desire touch (sexual AND non-sexual), conversation, connection and the sense that you are found interesting, fun, funny and worthy of someone’s attention.

How to do it: Take an honest look at the current state of your relationship and ponder how you would be graded on your ability to make your companion feel desired. Room for improvement? Ask your special someone what you are doing right (so you can keep doing more of it) and what you could be doing differently, that would really resonate with them. The answers can potentially open up a powerful conversation that leads you down the path to mutual satisfaction.

Now that you have the three keys to lifelong love, isn’t it time you took them for a test drive?