How To Use Your Natural Feminine Charm To Attract A Quality Man

What guys wish you already knew.

How To Use Your Natural Feminine Charm To Attract A Quality Man getty

When you are mingling, what’s your strategy for how to attract men? Do you coolly sit back waiting for them to approach you? Are you flirty and friendly, starting conversations where you find opportunities?

How you answer can make a huge difference in your ability to find quality men. Sure, guys are expected to make the first move. And many will, once they see a spark of interest coming from you. Most men want to feel they are moving into friendly territory when they approach a woman, or they won’t take that risk.


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You might not realize this, but most men don’t enjoy rejection any more than you do. Nope, they'd rather avoid it. Plenty of quality men have already been through their fair share of rejection. Rejection hurts a man the same as women.

There are also men who seem oblivious to rejection. They keep hitting up women until they find a friendly face who will engage.

And let’s not forget charming men — player types know exactly what to say to cut through a woman’s defenses and side-step the harsh rejection other men encounter regularly. But I know you don’t want the oblivious guy or the player. 


You're looking for a serious relationship with a quality man, right? Plenty of quality guys are confident, yet some have been beaten down after divorce or harsh breakups and simply want a little proof of warmth before approaching you. Can you really blame them?

When you are open, smiling and willing to start the conversation, that is “proof of warmth.” You are minimizing the risk that approaching you could mean being rejected. To quality men, that’s a lot like waving a white flag saying, “I’m available” in a sea of unfriendly women.

Now you might be the kind of woman who thinks, "Men should pursue me and do the work." But being easy to talk to and friendly doesn’t mean you are pursuing men. It doesn’t mean you are aggressive or lacking in feminine charm. Quite the opposite, in fact.

To start chatting with a good looking man requires feminine charm.


Let me start by explaining the difference between customer service and hospitality. Imagine that you are staying at a Motel 6. You pull into the parking lot and find a space. Drag your suitcase to the front desk where you check in.

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The service person may or may not smile, but you get your key and drag your suitcase to your room. That’s customer service — getting your needs met.

Hospitality is a completely different story. Picture yourself driving up to the Ritz Carlton. The doorman gets the door for you and greets you as you exit your vehicle. He’ll park your car for you after the bellman gets your luggage.


You walk to the front desk where you are welcomed warmly. The check-in person asks what the purpose of your stay is so they can help you make the most of your visit. Employees act like they care, because they do — it’s part of their job and it's a fundamental part of five-star customer service to be hospitable and ensure you feel welcome.

When you rely on feminine charm, you’re actually being hospitable, even though you’re not in your own home. You are demonstrating a tendency to be warm, friendly and fun. That’s powerfully attractive to quality men.

When you behave hospitably, a good man will be intrigued and want to know more about you. Bingo — that’s how you make a connection!

Next time you go out to an event or a bar, take a shot at using your feminine charm. Smile brightly, look like you are having a good time and start conversations. Here are three of my favorite ice breakers to make it easier:

  • “Nice tie (shirt or watch).”
  • “How’s your night going?”
  • “I haven’t tried that beer (bourbon, or whatever). Would you recommend it?”

As a woman today, it’s easy to find yourself stuck as a passive player in the dating game, hoping a guy will make the first move. But the good news is, you can use the tips above to maximize your feminine charm and take an active role in attracting the kind of guy you really want.

RELATED: The Surprisingly Easy Way To Attract Men (So You Can Stop 'Looking For Love')

For over seventeen years, Ronnie Ann Ryan has been a love and dating coach for women. She’s helped thousands of successful single women with hot careers (but a chilly love life) find lasting love. Listen to her free audio program 5 Surefire Ways to Attract a Quality Man.