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Woman Refuses To Remove Unflattering Video Of Her Ex From Social Media When He Asks, Sparking Debate

Photo: Halfpoint / Shutterstock
Wedding guests dancing

Wanderers of the internet may occasionally stumble upon the subreddit community dubbed “r/AmItheA–-Hole” (AITA) if they are looking to vent to an audience.

It's a place where folks have formed their own version of a court system, like a jury of some sort that hands down particular judgments about each situation that's posted.

One woman in the subreddit wanted to get a second opinion on her refusal to take down a video featuring her ex-husband — maybe he was embarrassed by his moves.

The video she posted included her ex-husband 'drunkenly' dancing in the back.

The post began with a short description of her relationship with her ex — they got along well enough when it came to co-parenting.

She said that since he’s close to her brother he was invited to his wedding — she was fine with the arrangement.

“The kids were thrilled to get extra time with dad.”

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Everything went beautifully at the wedding, and the attendee was able to capture a joyful video of her children and mother together.

She barely even noticed that her ex was "dancing drunkenly" in the background of the video, and posted it to Instagram.

Once he saw that she posted the video, he was furious.

“Hours later, I get a call from my ex yelling about my camera catching him dancing drunkenly in the background,” and she responded with “so what!?!”

The ex-husband wanted her to take the video down, but she refused.

The ex-husband explained to her that his current girlfriend would see the video, as well as her family.

I couldn’t help but to wonder exactly why this was an issue, but the ex reasoned that if his girlfriend’s “conservative family saw him in this video then there [would] be trouble.”

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The woman figured that he was just being silly.

Her ex “demanded” that she take it down, but she refused.

He tried to persuade her by saying “he was 'technically' recorded via [her] camera and he did not consent.”

He wanted the kids to know about the situation.

After her continued refusal, the ex-husband decided it was a good idea to get the kids involved.

The grandmother of the children on the mom’s side implored her to take down the post. She just wanted what was best for the children, and she probably figured it was better for the parents not to fight over petty drama. 

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The children’s mother felt as if the ex-husband was “trying to control [her] social media activity.”

She ended the post by emphasizing that her ex’s girlfriend would definitely see the video since the kids were in it.

Most Reddit users decided that this was not the hill to die on and urged the woman to get her priorities in order.

"Ask yourself this — is that 'silly' video worth destroying your co-parenting relationship with him right now?" asks one user.

"Because he is absolutely in the right to demand you take it down if he's featured in it. No one says you have to delete it off your phone, so the memory isn't gone, but it's petty of you to insist it should remain online."

Meanwhile, others felt her ex is overreacting.

"Welcome to 2022. You have no reasonable expectation of privacy in public and no right to prevent videos taken in public from being posted on social media."

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Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She writes for Entertainment & News at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.

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