Woman's Asks If She Is Wrong For Taking In Deceased Sister's Kids But Not Her Husband

They have a bad history.

Woman with kids Alena Ozerova / Shutterstock

A woman recently took to the subreddit, AITA (Am I The A-hole) to talk about her sister’s recent passing and make sure she did the right thing in the aftermath.

The starts by telling readers that her 36-year-old sister died from cancer a month ago. She describes the loss as “devastating” and says, “words can't express how we feel.”

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In the wake of her sister’s death, her brother-in-law was having trouble paying off debts and asked the woman and her husband to take himself and his daughters (their nieces), ages 13 and 16.

The poster agreed to take the kids in but stopped short of allowing her brother-in-law to crash at her place.

She is quick to admit, “I have to say that I'm not on good terms with him.”

The 33-year-old goes on to say that they have had several disagreements in the past. In one instance he tried to sue them over her mother’s house, the very same house he wants to reside in now.

She and her husband had refused to chip in and help with her now-deceased sister’s cancer treatments when she and her husband needed money to help pay medical bills.


Now, he is trying to bargain with his wife’s sister, pointing out that his daughters were grieving and “need him, their remaining parent to be around.”

Although the Redditor refused to share a living space with her brother-in-law, she did agree to let him visit regularly.

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Everything changed when the man showed up with his daughters in tow. The woman let her nieces in the house but says, “turned him away after he tried to talk me into letting him stay.”

This resulted in a big blowup that ended in the girls crying and wanting to be with their father after he left. Things have since quieted down, but the 16-year-old continues to remind her aunt that she wants her dad there.

Her family has turned on her.

After all of the drama, the poster’s husband seems to have had a change of heart. He shared his thoughts, telling his wife, “we might be making a mistake separating the girls from their dad when they're grieving.”

The husband noted that the girls might begin to resent their aunt for turning their father away at a time like this.


Her aunt has also labeled her “selfish and bitter” and said she was “making it more difficult for the girls who just lost their mom.”

Though the aunt thought the Redditor had really messed up, she is standing her ground. She says it is her home and she doesn’t feel comfortable around him due to his prior actions.

Now she is asking readers if she did the right thing by turning the man away. Most agree that she has the right to choose who she lets in the house while others suspect something else is going on.

A commenter wrote, “While it stinks that you can’t be 100% supportive for the girls it’s his fault you have to protect yourself.”


They went on to warn, “He’s sued once. If he starts living there and establishes residency he could try to squat. If other family [members] are upset, they can take them in.”

Another user commented, “We’re all making the assumption it’s actually OPs house. She even states it’s her mother’s house that they are living in. Oddly worded. She never once says she inherited the house. I’d bet money the inheritance is in question.”

Right or wrong, the fact that the woman refused to help her own sister with cancer treatments means the dysfunction in this family started way before her sister’s passing.


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NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle, entertainment and news, and self-focused content, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.