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Daughter Wonders If She's Wrong For Secretly Editing Out Her Mom's Flaws In Every Photo

Photo: Marivi Pazos on Unsplash
daughter edit's mom's flaws in every photo

A daughter has been keeping a secret from her mother and is feeling conflicted, so she went to Reddit’s “r/confessions” thread to ask strangers on the internet for advice.

This woman's mother has been dealing with body images issues for quite some time, and her daughter wanted her to feel better about herself. 

“My mom has really had a hard time the past few years. When she entered menopause she gained weight and no matter how much she works out or what diet she tries she cannot drop it,” the woman wrote.

She was heartbroken to see her mom going through something like this since she thought that her mother was wonderful inside and out.

After having had enough, she decided she would make a decision that might help her mom.

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The daughter started editing out her mother's flaws in all photos. 

“So I started (lightly) photoshopping pictures I take of her before I send them to anyone or print them,” the woman added.

She claims that the changes to the photos are so small that they don't stand out much.

“I just nip a little here and there, slight reshaping and smoothing out a few wrinkles, nothing drastic, but enough,” she explained,

The decision to edit her mom’s photos has turned out to be quite valuable and she could see her mother changing because of it.

“Since I have started this she has started acting more confidently and has stopped making negative remarks about pictures she is in. She loves being in pictures with everyone again,” the woman added.

As she is quite pleased with what she did, she hasn’t told this to anyone and has no intentions of telling anyone ever.

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Redditors commended her actions but warned her to be careful.

“I’m so conflicted on this. [The] intent is so endearing but if she ever found out... just really keep this one to yourself,” one user wrote.

“I'm completely ok with this. I did have a little think at first at the 'ethical implications' but I decided it's better for her to improve the image of herself in her head, psychologically, than to have her go under the knife and get dangerous procedures,” another user wrote.

“This is sweet of you, I mean doing this to boost her confidence, I would prefer if you help her change for real too, but I’m not sure how hard it is. Also, be very very careful never to tell her what you have been doing in any moment of anger or something because it will hurt her so much,” another user commented.

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Many people also shared that they use similar methods to help their parents or other people.

“I'd like to add some food for thought from a photographer's perspective,” one person commented.

“I have many clients who are uneasy about the way they look. Their confidence [needs] to be rebuilt and if I can't do so by the use of reassurance or healthy conversations I will often do the exact same thing you did.”

"We live in a world where self-esteem is at an all-time low (unfortunately [because] of the industry we’re in and the unrealistic expectations that marketing and media put out)" another person commented, "so if I can help someone feel less self-conscious about being in a photo, I will do it a thousand times over."

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Sanika Nalgirkar is a news & entertainment writer. She has a master's degree in creative writing. See more of her writing on her website.

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